EPIC LIFT/CLEAN/PLACE POST-MASTERS ATAG!

Note: This week’s contributing writer is long time ATAGer and renown Atlanta food critic David Danzig who offers his commentary below:

April 12, 2016-By David Danzig

A palpable buzz could be felt on the warm breeze beneath the azure sky prior to the commencement of 4/12 Front-9 ATAG proceedings. The buzz emanated partially from the recently concluded Masters Tournament where Jordan Spieth’s 7 on the par 3 #12 gave all of us golfing mortals comfort in our own futility. The other buzz came from a low-flying helicopter (see gallery for photos) that was surveying the encroachment of Flagler Ave residents into the Beltline’s property.

12 Under takes the Golden Ale!

Upon walking up to the #1 green and the right greenside bunker, I picked up a 58 degree wedge that Bill Meagher had left. Was it a message? An omen? A low-handicapper acting like a careless high-handicapper?   Apparently all of the above. Not only did Meagher not need the wedge for 6 more holes (I guess when you hit greens in regulation you don’t need one) but his 39 earned him the (unprofitable) distinction of low gross and his comrades of Henry Sawyer, William Thornton and Kevin McGlynn ham-and-egged their way to an impressive 12 under par amidst wet and breezy conditions. The team happily drank their free beverages under the setting amber hues on the ATAG Skydeck sponsored by the losing team of Tom Houle, Steve Bates, Brooks Cowles and Bill Buist who lost in an agonizing score card playoff to the team of David Danzig, Tom Player, Doug Gooding and Pat Murphy where the #1 handicap hole (#6) witnessed Player and Danzig using their “2 pops” to chalk up a 5-net-3 birdies and save their brothers the ultimate indignity by one stroke.

3-way chip-off with Oosthuizen-esque Finish Crowns Danny Morris Low Net Champion!

At the end of the round, 3 warriors stood alone at net 34: Morris, Sawyer and Martin. Down to #9 they went where some nutjob decided that the Drop Zone rest behind the left greenside bunker creating an impossible shot with the pin placement. Sawyer knocked a respectable effort onto the green—still 25 feet from the hole. Martin followed with an almost-great effort that stalled on the apron of the green and then Morris got up, flopped what surely would have rolled farthest away from the hole until it collided, Louis Oosthuizen-style, with Sawyer’s ball and ricocheted into the winning position and secured him the $20 purse.

Pat Murphy’s (Not So) Triumphant ATAG Return

ATAG Alum and 14 handicapper Pat Murphy, who last played on the ATAG tour in 2011 (rumor has it he had been playing in the Asian ATAG Tour, affectionately known as the MATAG Tour because the international date line sets their matches on Mondays), returned to ATAG with a disappointing 43 net, edging out Doug Gooding and Steve Bates for the pinkster honors. Speaking of ATAG alum, former ATAG regular Richard Batelaan will officially be moving back to Atlanta this summer. Hopefully we will see RB back on the Tuesday night links.

Danzig Reviews ATAG Cuisine

Tuesday’s fare was a mixed bag of ups and downs at the men’s grill buffet station. On the positive side, large, soft and salty pretzels made their ATAG debut to rave reviews from the hungry players. Warm to the touch and soft to the palate, these fresh-baked, fist-sized beauties dipped splendidly into the slightly spicy cheese sauce and accompanied ice cold beer in spectacular fashion. On the downside, the chicken wings have now seemed to have reached a painful nadir; they were dry, flavorless and looked to have been harvested from a flock of Zika-stricken birds who had free ranged in a septic field on this night. Perhaps it’s time to phone the club’s Sysco rep and dial up a new offering.

COMMISSIONER’S COMMENTS:

I was unable to attend this week’s outing, but I did enjoy the play by play offered by Mr. Danzig and interesting to note that former ATAGers Pat Murphy and Richard Batelaan are now hoping to rejoin the Tour. (Good luck–it’s a hard line up to crack)  Also, it  should have been noted that Lee Pearson and William Thornton made contributions to the Birdie Club to keep that train rolling.

Hard to believe that the usually popular chicken wings have now become something akin to what Mr. Danzig describes as a “flock of Zika-stricken birds who had free ranged in a septic field”. Perhaps Mr. Danzig, who is used to sampling finer cuisine, exaggerated somewhat because I always find the little critters quite tasty and priced right.

That’s it for this week’s recap. Check out the photos in the Gallery and scroll down for the individual scores from this week’s match.

4-12-16   Front Nine     Gross/Net

Meagher                                           39/36

Pearson                                             40/35

Martin                                                41/34

Morris                                                 42/34

Thornton                                            43/37

Schmal                                                43/38

Williamson                                         44/36

Sawyer                                                  45/34

Danzig                                                  45/35

Gaddis                                                  45/39

Bates                                                      46/42

Sellner                                                    48/36

Cowles                                                    48/37

Houle                                                      49/38

Gooding                                                   50/42

Murphy                                                    50/43

Buist                                                          51/39

Player                                                        51/41

McGlynn                                                  51/41