A GAME OF MOANS!


Note: The Commissioner placed himself on the DL this week but fortunately long time ATAGer and noted sculptor Tom Player (whose beautiful bronze work can be seen at http://www.tomplayersculpture.comvolunteered to continue the tradition of chronicling the ATAG Tour. His artistic narrative as to how this particular Tuesday afternoon went is provided below.

5-17-16 ATAG-By Tom Player

I have been ask to chronicle the day. I hope to forgo the frivolous and capture the heroic nature of what we do here.

The day wore a mantle of ragged edges. It was threatening rain. Lesser men would have turned from the challenge, but not THE SIXTEEN. Four by four they descended onto the killing ground. Among the sounds of anguish and exhilaration was the creaking of straps and braces, moaning of the pull carts and rumbling of the occasional War Wagon.

After the battlefield cleared and the warriors ascended to the top of The Wall, we learned that only 2 shots separated the four teams. In a playoff, David Danzig, Jeff Kohn, Kevin McGlynn and Doug Healy (note: two Jews and two Irishmen, there must be a joke in there) took the Ale at ­8 under in a playoff with Thornton, Morris, Majors and Tommy Two Glove Thornhill.  Buying at ­6 under were Meagher, Colbath, Sellner and Cowles.

Then there was the apparition of a likeness of William Thornton who took both low gross and low net with a 38!32.

Shots ‘O Day were two. Bill Meagher exploded from the sand on 13 into the cup. We shall name this shot The Dwarf Lannister (short, ugly but got it in the hole). Those dwarfs will do that.

Then Tom (Gravity­is­my Friend) Player snaked an incredible 50 footer in for a birdie on 18. Speaking of birdies, The Club of Player and Meagher were joined by Jeff Kohn and William Thornton.

Highlight of the Day was Frank Corrigan winning a real Pink Lady in addition to the one he pocketed. His first grandchild, the beautiful and talented and yet to be named grand daughter (called “Baby Girl Corrigan” for now) born at Northside Hospital to cap off the evening. Corrigan had 53/41.

So as dusk morphed into night without the presence of our leader Don the Lame, strains of Henry V were heard, “…we few, we happy few, we Band of Brothers.”

Final Results: 5-17-16 Back Nine  Gross/Net         (as reported by Danny Morris and ranked in order of best net scores)

Thornton                             38/32

Majors                                      39/35

Cowles                                       45/36

Player                                         46/36

Sellner                                        49/36

Kohn                                            42/37

Kisgen                                         49/37

Colbath                                        48/38

Thornhill                                      45/39

Morris                                           47/39

McGlynn                                       49/39

Greene                                            47/40

Meagher                                        43/40

Danzig                                             48/40

Healy                                                48/40

Corrigan                                           53/41

 

 

 

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ATAG MATCH UNCHRONICLED! DID IT REALLY HAPPEN?


Commissioner’s Comments: There were no volunteers to chronicle this week’s front nine ATAG match so the Commissioner went table to table asking several players to assume the role–but, to the Commissioner’s consternation, none of those asked were willing to do so, managing to proffer one lame excuse after another. Accordingly, without the recap, only those present this past Tuesday will know if there was even a match at all. (There was definitely some activity on the porch as several ATAGers opted to stay late after ordering one or more rounds of shots of bullet bourbon.)

However, not to totally shirk his  responsibility, the Commissioner did receive score cards that obligate him to reveal that there may, in fact, have been a match with the following results:

Winning Team:  -12      Doug Healy, Kevin McGlynn, Jeff Colbath, Brooks Cowles

Sponsor:     -2     Tom Kisgen, Jeff Kohn, Craig Sellner, Pat Murphy

Low Gross:  39    Bill Meagher

Low Net:  -4  Brooks Cowles

Pink Lady:  William Thornton  net 6 over

Shot Of The Day:  Bill Meagher holes out on # 2 for an Eagle

Birdie Club:  Brooks Cowles-with 2

Cameos:  Al Roberds and Russ Jobson

That’s it for this week. You will have to ask those present just really went on this Tuesday of May 10, 2016.

 

 

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DOMINATING NO MORE!


NOTE This week’s match recap is provided by long time ATAGer Brooks Cowles who was chastised in last week’s report for falsely claiming the low net booty but who has since made amends. The affable funeral home broker (what, you didn’t know there was such a thing?)  offers his insights into the back nine trample experienced by today’s field.

Start with a field hot off dominating the entire Ansley Golf Club Member – Member Tournament (okay, maybe just a few nether flights, but still dominating); add the daunting back 9; sprinkle some sand on some already hairy greens; and top with swirling winds, and what do you get? Well, basically, a girl-fight. After 2  1/2 days of thrashing par, whippin’ Settindown ass and drinking Phil dry, the ATAG field could only muster a middle of the road performance that quickly put to rest all those thoughts of, “OMG, I finally get this game!”

9 UNDER TAKES IT. Jimmy Williams, Jeff Kohn, Mike Schmal and John Wymer collaborated for a respectable score of 9 under par to edge out the Commissioner’s team of Don Nichols, Ron Majors, Brooks Cowles, and a clearly exhausted 8th Flight Champion Tom Kisgen, who was heard to say more than once, “you try dragging McGlynn around for 3 days and nights and see how you feel.”

The host was the DAL team of Danny Morris, Tim Martin, Craig Sellner and Pat Murphy, who dribbled in with a team score of 2 under par. Although uncorroborated at this time, the tone was apparently set early in the round when 6th Flight Champion and erstwhile team leader Danny Morris managed to produce a drive off #11 tee that found the creek rocks directly in front of the tee and caromed back over his head for a net drive of minus 1 yard. If true, this would be Shot of the Day, only because this writer knows from personal experience that while this can be an easy shot from the 2d tee, it is a monster from the 11th, requiring a pure ricochet of almost 25 yards. Luckily no one was hurt.

DON NICHOLS TAKES LOW NET.  MATH CHECKS OUT! The Commish slapped, cajoled and chaperoned his ball around a tough playing back 9 for a ‘good enough’ 1 under par to take home the big money for low net. The math was double and triple checked to avoid the embarrassment and pain of last week’s scoring debacle (for which I again apologize to all), and it was confirmed that The Donald was the only player to break par on this day.

LOW GROSS TIE. Tired of taking low gross on alternating weeks, Ron Majors and Mike Schmal agreed to share it this week with a score of 41.

COLBATH SECURES PINK LADY. Jeff Colbath sucked more with a plus 5 net score, to edge out 8th Flight Champion Kevin McGlynn, who was clearly surprised. “After watching Kisgen hit nearly 175 shots over the last few days, I really thought I could get this one.”

BIRDIES. Scotty Greene was the lone contributor to the Birdie Club, with a chip that found the bottom of the cup on #14,

SHOT OF THE DAY. Could be a toss up between Morris’ aforementioned negative yardage drive, Greene’s legitimate chip in,  and William Thornton’s attempt to pry his ball out of the tennis court fence on 17th  (see Gallery) in total defiance of the laws of both physics and golf. On the plus side, Greene’s aforementioned chip-in, and David Danzig’s up-and-down (which is actually 2 shots of course) for par on 17 after his second landed somewhere near the ladies 18th tee were mentioned.

THE PORCH SCENE. The group finished a beautifully mild evening on the porch with fish sticks, medium-rare chicken wings and beer. Unfortunately, Doug Gooding escaped prematurely to attend the birth of his next wife, and Tom Houle delayed proceedings a bit trying to pencil-whip his team’s card into first place. Houle was later heard trying to raise funds for some “Math Matters” tee shirts, but found a tepid response.

Table talk turned briefly to the Indiana primary results, proving conclusively that absolutely no one on the third floor porch at Ansley Golf Club between 7pm and 9pm on May 3, 2016,  knows more about politics than ATAG!

See you all next Tuesday–Brooks Cowles

COMMISSIONER’S COMMENTS:   Another great job by a volunteer scribe who admitted when he sent in his commentary that “wow, I see why you needed a break.”  It is sometimes hard to capture the essence of the ATAG experience but so far nothing has been lost using the time and talents of the ATAG fraternity in chronicling the weekly matches. On a personal note, the Commissioner was pleasantly surprised to win low net with only a 1 under score. In reviewing the stats, a one under winner has happened only a few times throughout the years—and always on the dastardly back nine. Interesting to note that seven players in today’s field finished only one shot short of the low net which would have made a chip off almost a tournament in itself.

That’s it for this week’s recap. Check out the photos in the Gallery and scroll down for the individual scores from today’s match.

5-3-2016   Final Individual Results     Back Nine     Gross/Net

Schmal                                                          41/36

Majors                                                           41/37

Gaddis                                                                42/36

Kohn                                                                   42/37

Williamson                                                        44/36

Gooding                                                              44/36

Murphy                                                               44/37

Thornton                                                             44/38

Nichols                                                            46/35

Cowles                                                                   46/36

Martin                                                                    46/39

Greene                                                                    46/39

Houle                                                                      47/36

Morris                                                                     47/39

Wymer                                                                     48/36

Danzig                                                                      49/37

Sellner                                                                      50/37

McGlynn                                                                  50/40

Kisgen                                                                       51/38

Colbath                                                                     51/41

 

 

 

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SPECIAL BULLETIN: ATAG DOMINATES 2016 MEMBER-MEMBER TOURNAMENT!


May 1, 2016-By Don Nichols

ATAG Tour players cleaned up at this weekend’s Member-Member Tournament, winning three of the flights outright and finishing in the money in other areas in a two day tournament that saw 192 players competing head to head.

Congratulations to the ATAG Flight Champions:

6th Flight Champion                                 Danny Morris and Mike Gaddis

7th Flight Champion                                  Anthony Morgan and William Thornton

8th Flight Champion                                  Kevin McGlynn and Tom Kisgen

Other Winners:

8th Flight Runner Up                          John Wymer and Tom Thornhill

Close Up Winner- Settindown         Danny Morris #7 (Sat); Tom Thornhill (Fri)

Close Up Winner-Settindown          William Thornton/Tom Thornhill  #5

Close Up Winner-Ansley                    Anthony Morgan #9; Tom Thornhill # 12

Day Money-Settindown                      Jim Williamson/Doug Healy/Tom Houle

Day Money-Ansley                                Brooks Cowles            

Putting Contest                                      Anthony Morgan (aces a 70 foot putt)

The Commissioner wishes to thank all ATAGers who participated in the tournament and is proud of those who carried the ATAG banner to victory and to all those who showed the true competitive spirit of the ATAG Tour in placing their names in the final leaderboard standings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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ECSTASY, AGONY, AND ECSTASY!


NOTE: This week’s contributing writer is long time ATAGer and host of the annual ATAG Steak Night Scotty Greene. He offers his insights on both the match and the drama that unfolded later in the evening.

“Golf is a cruel sport.”  author unknown

“What a stupid I am…”      Roberto De Vicenzo

Ecstasy, Agony, and Ecstasy: 4-26-2016: By Scotty Greene                                                    

From a detached, analytical distance the Ansley Tuesday Afternoon Golf (ATAG) group would not appear to present a writer much, if any, extraordinary material to work with. ATAG is a collection of mostly mid to high handicappers…all men, mostly all aged north of 60 (with the handful of under 50 and even under 30 year old players who probably tell their friends that they do volunteer work with sr. citizens on Tuesday evening) who gather weekly on Tuesday evenings to play casually competitive half rounds of golf for the largely symbolic stakes of a beer and a dollar.

But the writer assigned this piece is not detached, analytical, or writing from distant perspective. This writer is a participant, a player….who, after years of playing ATAG, knows firsthand the drama, the emotions, the agony and the ecstasy that always lurk beneath the apparent calm surface of this weekly afternoon golf outing. And the ATAG round on Tuesday April 26, 2016 could possibly go down as the record breaking example of all of these things coming together at the same time both on and off the course.

But I digress. First, let’s get the facts straight: Danny Morris, Brooks Cowles, Scotty Greene, and (visitor) Tom Lewis made up the Winning Team roster firing a team 10 under to collect the golden ale from the losers (DAL for Dead Ass Last) Jeff Kohn, Tim Martin, Doug Gooding, and (newcomer, under 50 years old!!) Scott Vandermeer with a team score of 7 under. (more on this later, in the drama section).

Twenty Two Handicapper Tom Houle won Low Net honors shooting a 43(!) for net -4, 32! His round included a jaw dropping, awe inspiring real Eagle 2, net zero on the not easy par 4, no. 4 hole. There may have been ATAG eagles before…but it is doubtful that there have been any like this: by a 22 handicapper, after a perfect drive, a perfectly struck 9 iron from 125 yards out that found the bottom of the cup on one bounce. ECSTASY! Team mate Jeff Colbath’s 4 net 3 gave their team a stunning 5 shot (surely record setting) pick up. Dramatic indeed. But we are just getting started.

Ron Majors won Low Gross…a-gain…(yawn) shooting a decidedly meh (for him) round of 40, losing 4 shots to par in the last three holes.

The Pink Lady winner for highest net went to ATAG journeyman Doug Healy for his net 9 over par. His 16 handicap wasn’t enough to save him from a personal worst 53 gross (a whopping 17 different swing thoughts over par in one round)

Back to the drama. Those who saw Tom Houle come off the no.9 or come up the steps and take his seat knew something was up. There was the spring in his gait, his grin, the sparkle in his eyes that told veteran mid/high handicappers that one of their own must have had a better than usual round of golf. Turns out we didn’t know the half of it! The 43 answer to the usual post round Q&A …”whadyashoot?”. did not dent the grin or the sparkle. Ok great, 43 and…? 9 IRON, HOLE OUT EAGLE ON NO.4! Houle’s teammates were talking all at once: “Didn’t see it go in…walked around looking for it…found it in the hole!” Now Houle’s grin was a big smile, the eyes really lit up as he gave the ATAG version of post round “what was going through my mind” account of a great golf shot( “I nutted it”), with an incredible result…an Eagle, net zero and final 43. Ecstasy.

Agony (ok, disappointment) Surely a 22 handicapper who eagles a par 4 hole with two pops and who keeps his s—t together to card a final 43 net 32 will win something…. Winning Team, Low Net….something. But no. At least for that moment in time, Houle’s eagle and teammate Colbath’s birdie on 9 meant only that they were not DAL and didn’t have to buy. Brooks Cowles, 21 handicapper, thinking he had shot 42, net 31 got the dough, the photo, and the applause for Low Net winner.

In echoes of the 1968 Masters (when Roberto DeVicenzo left the course thinking he had shot his way into a play-off with Bob Goalby),  Cowles, Houle, and the ATAG golfing world, would discover that a scorecard error undid that result. Like DeVicenzo, Cowles did not check his card closely before it went to the Commissioner. Cowles would have seen that the 42 on the card omitted his 5 on no. 9 for total of 47. Houle really did shoot a 43, but gracefully accepted the fact that his score, with its net zero Eagle, was not enough to claim Low Net honors and the money.

Ecstasy. Overnight the Commish, when reviewing the scorecards of each team, spotted the error on Cowles team card, informed all involved, and gave Tom Houle the delayed pleasure of winning Low Net. The error did not change the winning team results. The email exchanges between the Commish, Cowles, Houle and Morris (Cowles teams’ scorekeeper) showed the ATAG hallmarks of grace and sportsmanship.

Afterthoughts (and a little more drama). For the first time in this writer’s memory there was a four way tie for DAL, with four teams locked at seven under, necessitating the tie breaker card comparison system.

Colbath birdied No. 9 to win the card playoff to save his temporarily benighted team from buying and to keep the Birdie Train rolling.

Shot of the Day: See above. Weather: Nice. Trends: High handicappers winning low net.

COMMISSIONER’S COMMENTS:

The Commissioner thanks Mr. Greene for his insightful and eloquent chronicle of this Tuesday’s match and its aftermath. Three people were culpable for the error that resulted in Tom Houle being denied his official low net recognition and photo presentation of the coveted twenty one dollar bills–scorekeeper Danny Morris whose addition error reported a score of 42 on the card, Brooks Cowles, who should have known there was no way he could have shot a 42 (see his apologetic comments below), and the Commissioner himself who should have checked the math on the low net claimant’s score after receiving the card on the porch. (something he will most definitely do from now on). Fortunately, the error was caught in time to enable it to be rectified and published accordingly and appropriate apologies were issued.

Brooks Cowles:  “again, my responsibility to check card.  I was thinking during the round that Scotty might have it after he drained putt after putt, so I was surprised when my gross was reported.  I don’t think I have ever shot 42 in my life.  But with each pat on the back, my ‘Sally Fields Oscar moment’ (you like me!) deepened.  And when I got my hands on that fat wad of bills, I was done.  Now I have to figure out how to get 42 out of the handicap system where I proudly entered it! Tom, you can get your money at Tattletales. Cheyenne has most of it but Amber and Jade have some too.”

That’s it for this week’ recap. Check out the photos in the Gallery and scroll down for the individual scores from today’s match. And, good luck to those ATAGers playing in this weekend’s Member-Member Tournament! As ATAG Standard Bearers, we trust that we will see one or more of your names in the final standings on the Leaderboard.

Final Results: 4-26-2016    Front Nine      Gross/Net

Majors                                                40/35

Greene                                                  42/34

Martin                                                   42/35

Vandermeer                                          42/35

Houle                                                    43/32

Kohn                                                        44/38

Morris                                                     45/37

Wymer                                                     46/34

McGlynn                                                  46/36

Williamson                                              46/37

Gooding                                                    46/39

Kisgen                                                       47/34

Cowles                                                       47/35

Nichols                                                       47/36

Lewis                                                          47/37

Colbath                                                       48/37

Murphy                                                       49/42

Corrigan                                                      52/40

Healy                                                          53/45

Jobson                                                         54/43

 

 

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A PERFECT DAY FOR GOLF AND A VERY FAST TRACK!


NOTE: This week’s volunteer contributing writer is long time ATAGer Tom Kisgen, a professional engineer by trade but better known to all of us as the ATAG Humorist.

April 19, 2016 ATAG Reporter: Tom Kisgen

A full field of golfers showed up for this week’s match on Ansley’s onerous back nine, playing considerably shorter these days thanks to the dry Spring weather and the short zoysia grass which is just starting to wake-up from a long winter’s nap.   Twenty lucky ATAGers were rewarded by Mother Nature with beautiful mild weather and a gentle breeze on this day

Commish’s team does it again!

Well, that’s not actually true, but the Commish’s pre-match pick as this week’s favorites nearly pulled it off. John Wymer, Mike Gaddis, Tom Houle and David Danzig won the match in a tie-breaker over the Commish’s odds on favorites– Ron Majors, Brooks Cowles, Tim Martin and Frank Corrigan. This week’s winning score was a not so impressive 8 under, considering the ideal scoring conditions. Sponsoring the free drinks for the winners were the DAL team of William Thornton, Jeff Colbath, Pat Murphy and Mike Schmal with a score of 2 under. And with the other two teams turning in scores of 3 under and 4 under, this was a day of mediocre play with perhaps 1 or 2 exceptions. But, congrats to the winners! And better luck next time to all the rest of us.

LOW NET WINNER: Frank Corrigan, firing a blistering 43, for a net 31, was unchallenged as this week’s low net champ! Frank advised that his card featured 4 pars, 1 birdie (more on that in a minute) and 4 “others” in his round, which nearly won low gross honors.   Frank took home this week’s purse of twenty bucks.

LOW GROSS WINNER: Narrowly squeaking by Frank’s 43 gross was this week’s low gross winner Ron Majors with a score of 42. Ron confessed that the best thing about his round was showing up on the first tee and witnessing Frank’s great play.

PINK LADY WINNER: In a rout, Kevin McGlynn posted a net 10 over to walk away with the pink lady award this week.

SHOT OF THE DAY: Numerous candidates for shot of the day included Scotty Greene’s skulled hybrid approach to hole number 17, which bounced off the wall of clear creek and scooted up onto the green for an improbable par, and John Wymer’s remarkable pars on holes 15 (sunk a 75 foot par putt) and a pitch from somewhere near the tennis courts to 3 feet from the pin on number 18 green to save par. But, the clear cut shot of the day belongs to Frank Corrigan, whose tee shot on 18 was stiff to the pin for a tap in birdie!   Way to go, Frank!

BIRDIE CLUB: The Birdie Train kept rolling thanks to the individual efforts of Frank Corrigan and Jeff Colbath, each of whom birdied # 18, the latter making his first ATAG appearance of the year.

SEEN ON THE COURSE: Debra, our lovely former drink cart lady, back in town for a short visit, graced us with her presence at the first tee, where she gave out those warm soft Debra hugs to several of her favorite ATAGers.  The Commish’s team was apparently awarded a mulligan on those hugs over at the 12th tee. (see Gallery) And not seen on the course this week thankfully, was that loud and obnoxious helicopter moving up and down along the Beltline right of way, and disturbing our peace. Good riddance.

19TH HOLE CHATTER: A perfect day for golf turned into a perfect evening for lingering on the upper porch, enjoying good company, good wings (more on that in a minute) and the pleasant weather. Danny Morris notched a cameo appearance after he came by to catch the recap of the stories of our golfing exploits. Double D (aka David Danzig)  was chastised for his blistering commentary on the quality of the free wings the previous week, along the lines of not looking a gift horse in the mouth. Someone coming to his defense commented about the undersized and overcooked “quail wings” they served last week. Scotty Greene’s name came up in reference to his late arrival to the match, causing him to miss his tee time, a no no and who was also noticed to leave early (another no no).  A couple of us (names intentionally omitted) commented about the sheer luck of not hitting any cars with our blocked and sliced drives off number 10 tee to start the round.

All in all, another great day for golf and the continuing saga of ATAG.

COMMISSIONER’S COMMENTS:

Thanks to Mr. Kisgen for his concise recap. It was a truly beautiful and warm afternoon that saw another full field of 20 ATAGers, and I was glad that the Commissioner’s Team dodged the curse by barely escaping the dungeon thanks to a woeful performance by another pairing. And, congrats to “Lucky Frank” Corrigan, who has a garage full of pink golf balls, for his best ever round of 43 for a net 5 under to win his first ever low net booty. Corrigan claims he had won it before, but a review of the stats from 2006 through 2015, could not substantiate such a claim.

That’s it for this week’s recap. Check out the photos in the Gallery and scroll down for the individual scores from today’s match.

4-19-2016   Final Results    Back Nine   Gross/Net

Majors                                                      42/38

Corrigan                                             43/31

Martin                                                      43/37

Gaddis                                                       44/38

Murphy                                                      45/38

Nichols                                                       46/35

Thornton                                                    46/40

Schmal                                                         46/41

Wymer                                                         48/36

Danzig                                                           48/36

Greene                                                         48/41

Kisgen                                                           49/37

Colbath                                                          49/39

Williamson                                                    49/41

Jobson                                                             50/39

Healy                                                                50/42

Sellner                                                              51/39

Cowles                                                               51/41

Houle                                                                 53/42

McGlynn                                                            56/46

 

 

 

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EPIC LIFT/CLEAN/PLACE POST-MASTERS ATAG!


Note: This week’s contributing writer is long time ATAGer and renown Atlanta food critic David Danzig who offers his commentary below:

April 12, 2016-By David Danzig

A palpable buzz could be felt on the warm breeze beneath the azure sky prior to the commencement of 4/12 Front-9 ATAG proceedings. The buzz emanated partially from the recently concluded Masters Tournament where Jordan Spieth’s 7 on the par 3 #12 gave all of us golfing mortals comfort in our own futility. The other buzz came from a low-flying helicopter (see gallery for photos) that was surveying the encroachment of Flagler Ave residents into the Beltline’s property.

12 Under takes the Golden Ale!

Upon walking up to the #1 green and the right greenside bunker, I picked up a 58 degree wedge that Bill Meagher had left. Was it a message? An omen? A low-handicapper acting like a careless high-handicapper?   Apparently all of the above. Not only did Meagher not need the wedge for 6 more holes (I guess when you hit greens in regulation you don’t need one) but his 39 earned him the (unprofitable) distinction of low gross and his comrades of Henry Sawyer, William Thornton and Kevin McGlynn ham-and-egged their way to an impressive 12 under par amidst wet and breezy conditions. The team happily drank their free beverages under the setting amber hues on the ATAG Skydeck sponsored by the losing team of Tom Houle, Steve Bates, Brooks Cowles and Bill Buist who lost in an agonizing score card playoff to the team of David Danzig, Tom Player, Doug Gooding and Pat Murphy where the #1 handicap hole (#6) witnessed Player and Danzig using their “2 pops” to chalk up a 5-net-3 birdies and save their brothers the ultimate indignity by one stroke.

3-way chip-off with Oosthuizen-esque Finish Crowns Danny Morris Low Net Champion!

At the end of the round, 3 warriors stood alone at net 34: Morris, Sawyer and Martin. Down to #9 they went where some nutjob decided that the Drop Zone rest behind the left greenside bunker creating an impossible shot with the pin placement. Sawyer knocked a respectable effort onto the green—still 25 feet from the hole. Martin followed with an almost-great effort that stalled on the apron of the green and then Morris got up, flopped what surely would have rolled farthest away from the hole until it collided, Louis Oosthuizen-style, with Sawyer’s ball and ricocheted into the winning position and secured him the $20 purse.

Pat Murphy’s (Not So) Triumphant ATAG Return

ATAG Alum and 14 handicapper Pat Murphy, who last played on the ATAG tour in 2011 (rumor has it he had been playing in the Asian ATAG Tour, affectionately known as the MATAG Tour because the international date line sets their matches on Mondays), returned to ATAG with a disappointing 43 net, edging out Doug Gooding and Steve Bates for the pinkster honors. Speaking of ATAG alum, former ATAG regular Richard Batelaan will officially be moving back to Atlanta this summer. Hopefully we will see RB back on the Tuesday night links.

Danzig Reviews ATAG Cuisine

Tuesday’s fare was a mixed bag of ups and downs at the men’s grill buffet station. On the positive side, large, soft and salty pretzels made their ATAG debut to rave reviews from the hungry players. Warm to the touch and soft to the palate, these fresh-baked, fist-sized beauties dipped splendidly into the slightly spicy cheese sauce and accompanied ice cold beer in spectacular fashion. On the downside, the chicken wings have now seemed to have reached a painful nadir; they were dry, flavorless and looked to have been harvested from a flock of Zika-stricken birds who had free ranged in a septic field on this night. Perhaps it’s time to phone the club’s Sysco rep and dial up a new offering.

COMMISSIONER’S COMMENTS:

I was unable to attend this week’s outing, but I did enjoy the play by play offered by Mr. Danzig and interesting to note that former ATAGers Pat Murphy and Richard Batelaan are now hoping to rejoin the Tour. (Good luck–it’s a hard line up to crack)  Also, it  should have been noted that Lee Pearson and William Thornton made contributions to the Birdie Club to keep that train rolling.

Hard to believe that the usually popular chicken wings have now become something akin to what Mr. Danzig describes as a “flock of Zika-stricken birds who had free ranged in a septic field”. Perhaps Mr. Danzig, who is used to sampling finer cuisine, exaggerated somewhat because I always find the little critters quite tasty and priced right.

That’s it for this week’s recap. Check out the photos in the Gallery and scroll down for the individual scores from this week’s match.

4-12-16   Front Nine     Gross/Net

Meagher                                           39/36

Pearson                                             40/35

Martin                                                41/34

Morris                                                 42/34

Thornton                                            43/37

Schmal                                                43/38

Williamson                                         44/36

Sawyer                                                  45/34

Danzig                                                  45/35

Gaddis                                                  45/39

Bates                                                      46/42

Sellner                                                    48/36

Cowles                                                    48/37

Houle                                                      49/38

Gooding                                                   50/42

Murphy                                                    50/43

Buist                                                          51/39

Player                                                        51/41

McGlynn                                                  51/41

 

 

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ATAG’S MASTERS WEEK!


Editor’s Note: Apologies to last week’s featured writer Danny Morris whose last paragraph of his flowering description  of last week’s match was inadvertently truncated by a member of the editorial staff of the ATAG Reporter. The staff person was immediately dismissed by the Commissioner who has a zero tolerance level for ineptitude of any kind, especially considering that it was an affront to the esteemed Mr. Morris, a founding member of ATAG.

This week’s volunteer scribe is ATAGer Tom Houle, who is quick to let you know that he is a proud Notre Dame grad and, like most of us, admittedly a bad golfer.

April 5, 2016-by Tom Houle

As the great writer for the AJC, Furman Bisher, once wrote about the Masters, “I am thankful for the long shadows that stretch across pristine fairways”. “ I am thankful for the way the light hits the Azaleas in the early morning and fading evening”.

It was a glorious Masters week day at “Ansley Golf Club’s version of Augusta National”. As the photos in the Gallery can attest, the long shadows of hole 15 and the glorious azaleas of hole 10, were in their full glory.

We have Atlanta in the Spring and a great grounds crew to thank for our surroundings, and the big man upstairs to thank for the weather–unfortunately, we have ourselves to blame for our golf game.

Jim Nantz always says the Masters is a tradition unlike any other, and in ATAG, we feel the same– first class friends, great comradery, great food, conversation in a world class facility, and horrible golf. It is truly a tradition unlike any other.

It was a day of “high expectations and dashed hopes,” stated a member of the winning team Mike Schmal, who in addition to taking home the Golden Ale trophy, shared the low gross with playing partner Ron Majors. Mike and Ron also added to their Birdie Club totals as well. As if that was not enough, Mike also had the Shot of the Day on hole 15, with a snaky, over 35 foot birdie putt, that had its final roll right into the hole.

It was a good day for Mike, Ron and the other members of the winning team, Tom Houle and Frank Corrigan who posted the best score of 6 under.

It was also a great day for Craig Sellner who won the big money with his net 2 under, the only player in the field to break par. The prize was somewhat tainted by the fact that one of the dollar bills was reduced by 25 cents due to a felony defacing of the currency by Mr. Majors.

The donating team was the Commish and his stacked team of Steve Bates,  Jeff Kohn and Danny Morris which dropped four shots on the last hole to finish at 2 over.

The conversation on the upper deck revolved around the Masters and the Braves, and the delicious lemon pepper wings. Clay Houle and Jeff McClellan also made cameo appearances. It was a great night had by all.

COMMISSIONER’S COMMENTS:

Thanks to Mr. Houle for his nostalgic comparison of ATAG to the Masters and of the Ansley Golf Club to Augusta National and for also serving as the photographer in the absence of Tim Martin.

This is the second week in a row that the Commissioner’s Team has finished at the bottom of the heap, hopefully not indicating that the Commissioner’s Curse of prior seasons has returned to scourge those randomly paired with the Commish each week. As can be seen by the individual scores below, it was bad golf by pretty much everybody on this day and especially bad golf by Pink Lady winner John Wymer who fired a blistering (literally) 58 for a net 10 over par to set the bar for the “sucked more” moniker of the 2016 season.

That’s it for this week’s recap of the Back Nine match. Check out the photos in the Gallery and scroll down for the individual scores of today’s match.

4-5-2016       Final Results      Back Nine      Gross / Net

Schmal                              42/37

Majors                               42/38

Kohn                                 43/38

Healy                                45/37

Gaddis                              45/39

Bates                                 45/41

Sellner                               46/34

Cowles                                46/36

Player                                  47/37

Gooding                             47/40

McGlynn                            48/38

Williamson                        48/40

Corrigan                             50/39

Buist                                   50/39

Houle                                  50/40

Morris                                 50/43

Kisgen                                  51/39

Nichols                                 51/40

Jobson                                  52/41

Wymer                                  58/46

 

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“ENCHANTING LATE AFTERNOON” ATAG MATCH!


Note: The ATAG Reporter is pleased to provide this week’s commentary by award winning free lance journalist and co-founding member of ATAG Danny Morris.

3-29-2016–By Danny Morris

How best would one describe a night like this past Tuesday?

Let’s see, the sky was a perfect combo of sun, blue sky and high delicate spring clouds. Breeze, light and a little bit cool. Azaleas? Yes, and perfect. Cherry blossoms, still in full color. Red buds, already bursting in their glory. Sunset, hauntingly beautiful. All of that worked together to create the backdrop for an enchanting late afternoon.

Add to that golf, beer, bourbon, crispy fried chicken parts and friendly conversation and you’ve got yourself some enjoyment.

Nineteen guys signed up to play the ATAG format, each prepared to confront the Ansley front nine on this last Tuesday of March. Lee Pearson rounded up late addition and first time ATAG participant Jim Moulton to true up the five foursomes. Play began on the Road Hole Number 1 at 4:42 PM, exactly as arranged and approved by the Commissioner.

The outward nine did not lend itself to much noteworthy play from the assembled twenty. The production was slow even by ATAG standards. At the finish you could see group 2 trudging up to the ATAG deck as group three left the Number 9 green. The fourth group waited on the 9 tee and group five was chipping and putting out on 8. Sixteen golfers were just 200 yards from each other. Two hours twenty five to finish nine holes… the wonder of the spring night and the captivating comradeship within the groups made the delays more than bearable.

The golf round unfolded this way

Most all the groups had a tale describing how many shots they gave up to par on the finishing hole. Four shots for one group dropping them out of the lead. Two or three shots were shed by other foursomes. The pin was, shall we say, in an awkward position. I would guess the professional who placed this cup had a donnybrook at home on Tuesday morning or a rough Monday night or both.

However, everyone had to play the same pin and Jeff Kohn, Doug Gooding, Craig Sellner and Tom Houle won the match with a score that was 9 better than par.

Tim Martin, Russ Jobson, Mike Schmal and Don Nichols were at the bottom of the stack with a 4 under score. The early consensus was this team, loaded with talent and strokes, would win it all. They bought beer for the winners. Of note, Doug Gooding made a trip across the full length of the porch to request his beer from Mike Schmal. Doug said it was not a common occurrence that he was able to collect from Mike S.

COMMISSIONER’S COMMENTS:

The Commissioner wishes to thank Mr. Morris for his elegant and flowery commentary as well as for not pointing out that the Commissioner’s Team followed last week’s boastful victory with a Dead Ass Last showing by this week’s assembly of paltry players. And, speaking of paltry, all but two ATAGers were over par for the day–not counting the last minute visitor who claimed a twenty handicap to sweep the pot. This did not sit well with the fraternity of ATAG players and the Commissioner is considering eliminating future unknown and/or “undocumented” visitors from participating in the Low Net purse. (as someone said as the money was being handed out, “stranger danger.” )

Also, long time ATAGer David Danzig made an early cameo on the porch and stayed through the evening–his first appearance of the season.

The Commissioner is delighted to have the support of  his fellow ATAGers in keeping the ATAG Reporter continuing to serve as the ATAG web site. The Publisher, Word Press, is also appreciative and noted in its 2015 year end review that the ATAG blog was viewed 1,800 tines from fifteen countries (yikes!) and that 144 photos were posted, so no telling the amount of viewership we will have with this collaborative effort going forward this year.

That’s it for this week’s recap. Check out the photo in the Gallery and scroll down for the individual scores from today’s match.

3-29-16 Final Results    Front Nine    Gross/Net

Moulton                                               40/30

Majors                                                   41/36

Kohn                                                       42/36

Williamson                                             43/35

Schmal                                                     43/38

Gaddis                                                      44/37

Pearson                                                     44/39

Morris                                                       45/37

Gooding                                                    46/38

Martin                                                       46/40

Sellner                                                       47/35

Nichols                                                       47/36

Cowles                                                        47/36

Player                                                          47/37

Healy                                                            48/40

Wymer                                                          49/37

Houle                                                             49/39

Corrigan                                                        51/39

Jobson                                                           51/40

McGlynn                                                        52/42

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ATAG REPORTER SHUTS DOWN!


COMMISSIONER SUSPENDS WEEKLY REPORTING!  CITES TIME PRESSURES AND BUDGET CUTS !

But……….wait. Players respond!

After informing the players that he would no longer be reporting the weekly ATAG matches due to a combination of time constraints and burn out, several ATAGers, afraid the “ATAG Experience” would begin to wane, volunteered to serve as “contributing writers” to the weekly ATAG blog which would then enable it to continue as  the de facto web site for ATAG.

There was no reporting of the opening day front nine match on March 15 although the match results are shown further down below. But this past week’s back nine match was  chronicled by  volunteer contributing writer John Wymer whose recap follows:

UNEXPECTED CAMEO SHIFTS SPOTLIGHT AWAY FROM GOLF!

There was electricity (and a lot of pollen) in the air as a full field of veteran ATAGers prepared for the upcoming back-9 match.  The atmosphere in the practice area was eerily similar to that found in the practice area at Augusta during Masters week.  A number of golf aficionados were heard to opine that this was one of the strongest fields ever to assemble for an ATAG match this early in the season.  For the first time all year, the fairways were firm and the ball would actually roll a while before coming to rest.

Despite good conditions and an All-Star field, the scores were not particularly good, due in part to early season rustiness and in part to many of the players’ lack of skill.

Results were as follows:

Winning Team:                -11     Scotty Greene, Brooks Cowles, Ron Majors, Don Nichols

Sponsor:                             -2     Jeff Kohn, Tim Martin, Jim Williamson, John Wymer

Low Gross:                         40    Bill Meagher and Mike Schmal

Low Net:                             -2     Scotty Greene

Pink Lady:                          +8  Craig Sellner and Tim Martin

Birdies:                                Ron Majors, Mike Schmal, William Thornton, Scotty Greene

Shot Of The Day:               Mike Schmal-tee shot on #12 for kick in birdie;

(Honorable Mention to Scotty Greene whose tee shot on #18 was just outside the leather )

Although the golf might have been uninspiring, the post-round comradery was quite spectacular.  As the players were engaging in quiet post-round commiserating, who should appear on the upstairs porch than none other than former Ansley cart girl, Ashley!!!  The lovely Ms. Ashley graciously gave out hugs to the players who, unlike yours truly, were not barricaded behind a table.  Ashley reported that her stint working on some type sailboat is over because, according to her, her boss died.  (I will not even speculate as to the possible cause of death.)  She is about to start a new job as a “fun manager” – that’s right, a fun manager – for a company that operate high-end resorts around the world.  (Danny Morris and I both thought she said “fund manager,” but then sought and obtained clarification.) For those of you who wish to follow her career, her first fun manager assignment is on the island of Exuma in the Bahamas.

Once Ashley left and the gracious sponsors dutifully purchased beverages for the winning team, at least one player, a/k/a, moi, departed because he was freezing his ass off.  With the temperature 65 degrees, a breeze blowing and darkness having descended, presumably others followed your humble scribe’s lead soon thereafter.

COMMISSIONER’S COMMENTS: A great thanks to Mr. Wymer for his contribution. He failed to point out that the winning team was, in fact, the Commissioner’s Team, a victory in its first match since the Commish was unable to attend opening day (but did make a cameo).  (Mr. Wymer also failed to note that he was one of the “gracious sponsors.”)

Also, the field was way oversubscribed and four veteran ATAGers did not make the cut and had to sit out based upon their less than stellar attendance record the prior year. It was also interesting to note when reviewing the scorecards that three players–Schmal, Morris, and Greene– would have tied for low net had it not been for Greene’s birdie on # 18 (and Morris’s bogey on the same hole)

That’s it for this week’s inaugural “contributing writer’s” recap. Check out the photos in the Gallery and scroll down for the individual scores.

Final Leaderboard    3-22-16   Back Nine   Gross / Net

Schmal                                       40/35

Meagher                                     40/37

Greene                                        41/34

Gaddis                                         41/35

Majors                                          41/36

Morris                                           42/35

Kohn                                            44/39

Wymer                                         47/36

Gooding                                       47/39

Nichols                                         48/37

Houle                                           48/38

Cowles                                          48/38

Thornton                                      48/42

Healy                                             49/41

Williamson                                   49/41

Martin                                           50/44

Corrigan                                        51/39

Kisgen                                            51/42

Jobson                                            51/40

Sellner                                             56/44

 

3-15-16  ATAG Results (Opening Day)

16 Players: Front Nine

 Winning Team:   Majors, Wymer, Gaddis, Morris               -11

Sponsors:  Healy, Cowles, Kohn, Morgan                              -5 (tiebreaker)

Pink Lady:  Morgan                                                                +11 net

 Low Gross:  Majors  37

 Low Net: Wymer-skillfully applied his 23 handicap to a score of 43 for a net 31

 Birdies:   Majors (2);  Schmal (1)

 Shot Of The Day:  Majors—chips in on # 9 to the back pin position while standing next to the far right bunker for his second birdie of the day

 Cameos:  The Commissioner arrived on the porch just as the last group was finishing.  Tom Thornhill also made a brief cameo appearance begging to be re-admitted to ATAG. (There was some talk after he left about making him go through a pledge week inititiation)

 Jokes:  Danny Morris opened the season with some new material that was well received.

 Weather: No comment (at the request of Kevin McGlynn)

 Final Results:  Gross/Net

Majors                                  37/32

Schmal                                   39/34                                              

Kohn                                      41/35

Wymer                                  43/31

Morris                                   43/35

Williamson                          43/35

Martin                                   43/36

Thornton                             43/37

Gaddis                                  44/37

Cowles                                 45/34

Greene                                 45/38

Healy                                     47/39

Kisgen                                   48/36

Arnold                                  48/39

McGlynn                              49/36    

Morgan                                57/47                              

 

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