October 11, 2016-By Don Nichols

On what can best be described as a spectacular Fall afternoon–75 degrees, slight breeze, and blue skies (with the moon making an appearance high in the sky later in the afternoon)-the stage was set for nineteen ATAGers who gathered on the back nine for the penultimate match of the 2016 season. (that’s next to last for those who are vocabulary challenged).

The golf course was also spectacular with its manicured greens and plush fairways  that seemed to beckon against the backdrop of the Midtown Atlanta office buildings rising above the crescent. With its urban location in the central city core of a major metropolitan city, the historic nine hole Ansley Golf Course simply has no peer, and ATAGers (as well as all Ansley golfing members) appreciate and relish the opportunity to experience its splendor.

Ok, enough about the setting. Now on to the results of this week’s match.

The sponsor was quickly ascertained to be the 2 under team of Bill Meagher, Jeff Colbath, Jim Williamson, and Frank Corrigan. Scorekeeper Meagher was overheard saying, “We’re not only bad, but stupid” after they discovered they played the wrong tee box on #12.

There was some drama as to who would be the winning team after the other four teams all finished at 6 under. However, one of those teams was the Commissioner’s Team, a threesome of Ron Majors, John Wymer, and Don Nichols, who were entitled to randomly draw a partner out of the pool of 16 eligible players, needing only a one shot improvement to capture the Golden Ale. Danny Morris quickly raised his hand and volunteered to be such draw partner and was just as quickly dismissed by the group with a chorus of boos. The Commissioner then asked Bill Meagher to shuffle the scorecards and John Wymer then selected the number 7 on behalf of the Commissioner’s Team. With 16 guys hanging on the edge of their seats to see if they would get the free brewsky, the number 7 player out of the sixteen turned out to be—who else, but Danny Morris. Go figure. Morris’s score of the first hole was good enough to propel the Commissioner’s Team to victory and he later added two more for a final draw partner winning team score of 9 under.

LOW GROSS WENT TO BILL MEAGHER WITH A 37 . This matched Ron Majors, Mike Schmal, and Tom Thornhill for the BEST LOW GROSS OF THE YEAR. Meagher is quick to tell you that Low Gross Medalist winners get little recognition amidst an ATAG group of mid to high handicappers, hence the bold all cap as a means of such recognition.

Low New Winner was Tim Martin whose score of 39 resulted in a net of 4 under and 19 one dollar bills in his pocket. Oddly, it was only Martin’s second low net of the year after winning five times last year to earn the Sandbagger Of The Year award.

The hands down winner of the Pink Lady was Jeff Colbath who fashioned four triples and two doubles mixed in with two bogeys and one inexplicable par, for a score of 55 and a net 9 over par for his third pinkster of the year. Teammate Bill Meagher was overheard saying ” if we were playing the Stapleford points system, Jeff would get one point more than a dead man.”  (We’re a tough crowd)

The Birdie Club added two more to its totals thanks to a double contribution from Bill Meagher (#13 and #17) and a lone bird from Tom Thornhill (#12)

Shot Of The Day went to Danny Morris. I did not witness it,  but here is how it went down according to Morris and other eye witnesses. An errant tee shot on #15 found Morris in the rough between # 15 and # 16. Electing to play it safe, Morris attempted to punch a six iron back out to the fairway but the ball apparently did not cooperate. As Morris tells it,  he then raised his six iron into the air in a modest show of frustration when a sudden force of gravity propelled the club from his hands into a nearby tree–where it remained. An attempt to retrieve the club by throwing his 7 iron at it failed, with the 7 iron giving serious thought about joining his 6 iron friend in the tree– but thankfully fell back to the ground.  Teammate Tim Martin, who was driving a cart, then attempted a rescue by standing on the cart but to no avail. Then, in a desperate measure, the 250 pound Martin reportedly stood on top of the cart’s roof and was then able to retrieve the recalcitrant 6 iron. (The cart number is not being disclosed for liability reasons.)

Jeff Kohn was a late cancellation (3 pm) (forgot about an eye exam) that resulted in the Commissioner’s Team having to play as a threesome. It is not written in the ATAG Bylaws, but Ron Majors has proposed an amendment that states that “cancelling an appearance on the coveted Commissioner’s Team is punishable by loss of your ATAG Tour Card.”  Considering the ATAG Draw Partner system worked to perfection, the Commissioner sees no reason to endorse such a proposal.

It was lively on the porch and the ATAG camaraderie was never more evident as the beers flowed and the conversations covered most of the issues of the day, especially the Presidential Election where both ATAG conservatives and liberals agree that there is not a suitable candidate. This prompted the Commissioner to announce that he was voting for ATAG CFO Doug Healy as a write in candidate. Healy quickly responded that “he would not run and if elected he would not serve.” The Commissioner then wondered out loud if he should run as the ATAG Commissioner on a third party write in ballot. Healy said, “well, let’s stop and think about it. There are 32 members on the ATAG roster so the Commissioner should expect receiving as much as 8 votes.”  So, I got that going for me.

Well, that’s it for this week. Next week is the finale and the following Tuesday will be the end of the year awards ceremony. Hard to believe that yet another season is soon to pass.

Check out the photos in the Gallery and scroll down for the individual scores.

Final Leaderboard:  10-11-16   Back Nine     Gross/Net

Meagher                                   37/35

Martin                                     39/32

Majors                                         39/35

Thornhill                                     41/35

Greene                                          43/36

Cowles                                          46/35

Houle                                             46/36

Wymer                                           46/36

Williamson                                    46/38

Gooding                                         46/39

Nichols                                           47/36

Morris                                             48/41

Corrigan                                          49/38

Sellner                                              50/38

Kisgen                                              50/39

Healy                                                50/42

Sawyer                                              51/41

Player                                                52/42

Colbath                                              55/44



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10 On The Mellish Meter!

Note: This week’s write-up is provided by Mike Schmal, recently retired, and one of the few single digit handicappers on the ATAG Tour and who is also the current leader in the Clubhouse for  most birdies.

October 4, 2016–By Mike Schmal

It was defiantly a 10 on the mellish meter as 20 ATAGers headed out for another attempt to win the coveted Golden Ale, the admiration of their peers, and one skillful guy for the $20 low net pool. Might I also mention— to avoid buying and taking home the dreaded pink lady.

The course was a poster child for golf, the fairways were lush, the greens inviting and I would be remiss if I did not mention that Courtney was there with a smile and a beverage for those in need.

I was fortunate to be paired with Gooding, Sellner, and Nichols so I could witness first hand Craig Sellner’s prowess on the course. Birding #2 with a 50 Ft. putt as well as making birdie on #4 (“net 1”)after a 180 yard approach shot to 4 Ft. Suffice it say we were on a roll that the golf gods would soon rectify.

The Results:

Winning team, Thornhill, Kisgen, Houle, Colbath with a minus 15 were sponsored by Healy, McGlynn, Greene, Sawyer at minus 6.

Others:  Morris, Majors, Williamson, Thornton(draw)   -11; Danzig, Corrigan, Thornton, Houle  -11; Gooding, Schmal, Nichols, Sellner  -8

It should be pointed out that Jeff Colbath had to leave before collecting his winning ale and, under ATAG Bylaws, designated the Commissioner as his beer drinking proxy. An act that one might assume will result in favorable treatment in the future and given the current state of our countries political discourse might give us all pause, but then again someone had to drink the beer. Commissioner’s Note: No favorable treatment. The law is the law. It is what it is.

Low Net:  Houle  Minus 7. As I was sitting next to Tom during this announcement, I can confirm that you could not wipe the smile off his face, congratulations. Commissioner’s Note: It was Houle’s best round of the year and made him the leading money winner in the Clubhouse. It was also Craig Sellner’s best round of the year, one that he thought his net 5 under would surely take it.

Low Gross:   Majors  37   Commissioner’s Note:  Ties for the best low gross of the year with, who else, but Ron Majors.

Pink lady: McGlynn Plus 6 net

Birdies: Sellner (2), Danzig, Majors, Houle

Shot Of The Day:  Sellner for his aforementioned 50 ft putt on # 2 and his birdie enabling approach shot on #4. Honorable mention to Scotty Greene who holed out from the bunker on #2 (after three attempts) to make bogey.

Cameo: Al Roberds–who was part of the 20 man field but had to withdraw after 3 holes due to injury but stayed around to join in the socializing.

The night ended on the Sky Box with one joke by Jimmy Williamson which was well received. I did over hear that it was an oldie but goodie, and well presented, and that Atagers appreciate a good joke, old, new or even bad. I have to agree.

The evening went well into the evening, I made my escape as the Bourbon tasting was beginning. Commissioner’s Note:  Informed sources reported that Healy and Morris stayed well into the night with some aggressive imbibing.

In the end it was a great early Fall evening, good fun, good company and can’t wait to do it again next week.

Final Individual Scores:   10-4-2016   Front Nine   Gross/Net

Majors                           37/32

Houle                             39/29

Thornton                       41/34

Thornhill                       41/35

Sellner                            43/31

Healy                              43/35

Morris                             43/36

Schmal                             44/39

Williamson                     46/38

Gooding                          46/39

Corrigan                          47/36

Sawyer                              47/37

Greene                              47/39

Kisgen                               48/36

Danzig                               48/36

Cowles                                48/37

Nichols                              50/38

Colbath                              52/41

McGlynn                           54/42




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September 20, 2016-By Don Nichols

With the season winding down with only a few weeks left, interest in ATAG appears to be waning as only 12 players answered this week’s Call For Players.

But, on a beautiful sunny afternoon, three foursomes gathered on # 10 in their quest for the Golden Ale Trophy, with some players hoping that this would be their week to capture the Low Net bounty.

No volunteer writer or photographs this week but here are the results which will be included in the stats:

Winning Team:  -8   Morris, Wymer, Colbath, Sawyer

Sponsor: -3  McCormack, Sellner, Corrigan, Kohn

Others:  -7  Healy, Williamson, Thornhill, Nichols

Low Gross:  41  Thornhill

Low Net:  even par  Thornhill and Morris

Pink Lady: net +6  Corrigan, Nichols

Birdies:  1    Thornhill

Shot Of The Day:  Thornhill—  holes out from left bunker on # 16 for birdie-“net eagle”.

Cameos:  Bill Buist

Final Results: 9-20-16   Back Nine  Gross/Net

Thornhill                              41/36

Morris                                   43/36

Healy                                     43/37

Kohn                                      44/39

Williamson                           47/39

Sawyer                                   47/37

Sellner                                   49/37

Colbath                                  49/38

McCormack                          49/38

Wymer                                    49/39

Nichols                                    51/41

Corrigan                                  52/41







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Commissioner’s Note: This week’s write up is provided by David Danzig who almost single handedly led his team to the best front nine low net score since July 8, 2008, while dethroning the previous all time low net winners (including himself) with an astounding net score of 10 under.  Known as “Double D”, Mr. Danzig is the definite  Joker’s Wild Card in the deck, but oftentimes that card is not pulled in the deck shuffle and thus he is also the recipient of numerous Pink Ladies throughout the years. His journey during this week’s round is recounted below.

9-13-2016  ATAG–By David Danzig

Summer 2016’s record-setting hot, humid grip refused to let up on the 16 ATAGers who embarked upon a front-9 campaign on this sweltering mid-September afternoon.

The players set out on upon some of the best fairways and greens AGC has ever seen—the zoysia fairways playing like perfect lush green rugs laying atop cushy pads; the greens, like a smooth satin sheet (with a little sand sprinkled in).

Like it so often happens, the early groups finished their rounds, plated up their wings, grabbed their brews and adjourned to the third floor sky porch feeling confident in their assumed positions in the proverbial “buy zone” or “no-buy zone,” merely waiting for the formality of the final card to arrive and cement their fates. And, as it so often happens, the last group climbed the stairs with a backbreaking bomb shell of a score card, like a poker player laying down an ace to complete a full house, obliterating the hearts of the hopefuls.

This evening the team heartbreak came courtesy of Mike Gaddis, David Danzig, Pat Murphy and Lee Pearson who amassed an impressive 16-under performance despite Lee Pearson’s Enron-like accounting of the team’s scores (Pearson had asserted that the team earned a -14 score but careful inspection by the Commissioner showed he had left 2 strokes on the table). Equally impressive was the fact that this crew owned all of the birdies of the day: Danzig, Pearson and Gaddis all putting up a red number. And yet an even closer look at the card revealed one of these players in particular fueled this staggering output—but more on that later.

The team footing the bill for the winning team’s beer was none other than Tim Martin, Brooks Cowles, Jim Williamson and Henry Sawyer who finished 10 strokes behind at -6.

The individual heartbreak of the evening belonged to Doug Healy who climbed up the stairs to watch the sunset basking in the warmth of his well-earned 39, rightfully assuming that the low gross mantle and low net purse would soon be in his pocket. But not on this night. On this night ATAG’s Dr Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, David Danzig, would climb the stairs with some devastating news: this was one of his infamous freak nights. Danzig, a 24 handicapper whose last ATAG 9-hole performance, a 53, earned him pink lady honors, decided to improve upon his last performance by an eye-popping 15 strokes for a career-best 38 9-hole score. Three “net eagles”, a natural birdie, six pars and 8 greens in regulation understandably caused quite a stir on the patio. On this night Danzig was compared to Moses (see ATAG quotes in the sidebar), Ty Webb from Caddyshack, a pitcher throwing a no-hitter and numerous other characters, while ATAG alum shared stories from the other two times he fired totally random sub-40 rounds including the infamous “lighting round.” The net 26 is an all-time ATAG record and elicited a number of invites to bring his 24 handicap to an upcoming tournament before it drops.

The evening’s Pink Lady honors went to Henry Sawyer who finished at a not too embarrassingly net 3 over, narrowly passing a parade of mediocrity with net two over scores belonging to  Lee Pearson, John Wymer, Frank Corrigan and Jim Williamson.

Shot Of Day: The grumpier than usual Commissioner, Don Nichols, should have had something to smile about with a chip-in for par on # 8.


Winning Team:  -16    David Danzig, Mike Gaddis, Lee Pearson, Pat Murphy

Sponsor:    -6    Tim Martin, Brooks Cowles, Jim Williamson, Henry Sawyer

Others:      -12  Tom Kisgen, Danny Morris, William Thornton, Don Nichols

-7  John Wymer, Frank Corrigan, Doug Healy, Tom Thornhill

Low Gross:   38    David Danzig

Low Net:  -10  David Danzig

Pink Lady:  net + 3   Henry Sawyer

Final Results:  9-13-16  Front Nine   Gross/Net

Danzig                                             38/26

Healy                                                39/33

Gaddis                                              41/35

Martin                                              42/34

Thornton                                          42/35

Thornhill                                          42/36

Murphy                                             42/37

Morris                                                44/36

Pearson                                              44/38

Williamson                                        46/38

Kisgen                                                  47/35

Cowles                                                  47/36

Nichols                                                 48/37

Wymer                                                  49/38

Corrigan                                                49/38

Sawyer                                                   49/39



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Note: This week’s commentary is offered by Pat Murphy (nicknamed “Father Pat” by Brooks Cowles) who rejoined the ATAG Tour this year following his retirement.

August 30, 2016-By Pat Murphy

I am pleased to author the final August 2016 ATAG results for Tuesday, August 30, 2016.

Enjoy the content as the Commissioner gently sent me a note to let me know I was in for the matches this week, but added a note as follows: From Don, Pat you are in…Can you do the write-up this week? Talk about the ultimate ATAG Hobson’s Choice! No play on words Russ.

Here are the results from this week’s match:

Winning Team: -11 (via tie breaker) Greene, Murphy, Sawyer, Kisgen

Sponsor: -4 Healy, Wymer, McCormack, Martin

Others: Thornhill, Pearson, Houle, Kohn -11

Batelaan, Player, McGlynn, Nichols -9

Gaddis, Colbath, Majors, Williamson -6

Low Gross: Majors 38

Low Net: Kohn -2 (in four way chip off with Player, Nichols, and Majors)

Pink Lady: Colbath net +8

Birdies: Total of 3 :   Thornhill-#11, Kohn-#12, Nichols #14

Shot Of The Day, we did not have many choices but Commissioner Don nominated Kevin McGlynn for his booming tee shot on #15 that went past the second bunker on the left and secondly, for Kevin’s  most unusual “negative yardage fairway wood shot on #13,” that went straight up in the air and then fell down some five yards to his left before rolling behind him.

After another 90+ temperature ATAG match, the planned cool refines of the Men’s Grill was full of rather loud groups of 2016 NFL Fantasy Football League partiers, so the ATAG players ascended to the top of the Ansley outdoor decks and the ATAG lounge.

The winning team enjoyed drinks from the Sponsors- Mr. Healy, Mr. Wymer, Mr. McCormack (winning team member in 3 of last 4 ATAG matches) and Mr. Martin. Scotty, Tom K, Henry and yours truly appreciated the cold brews. However, birthday man on Monday, Scotty Greene, humbly offered his beverage to the Commissioner, as Scotty was overserved at his birthday celebration the day before.

“I truly enjoy ATAG each week and respect the playing members, stories and conversation after the matches finish.”

A few other observations of note: Richard Batelaan will play in shorts. No cameo appearances this week. There was a terrific playoff on a difficult 18th hole chip off, as Jeff Kohn put spin on a shot that snuggled just closer to the flag stick than Ron Major’s masterful flop shot into the hardening green. Jeff enjoyed collecting the ATAG pot of $20, making a remarkable return on his one dollar investment, and saved his original investment dollar for the first matches in September.

Now before you go to the Commissioners notes, a memory for the August 30th matches. Scroll back to the top, and read the first word of each of the first three paragraphs, and you will get my honorable and humble thoughts as the ATAG author this week and every match.  ” I Enjoy ATAG!”

That’s it for the week. Please scroll down for the  individual scores and check out the Tim Martin photography in the Gallery. Thanks for the great shots Tim!

Commissioner’s Comments:

Clever recap from “Father Pat” who at first took on this assignment with trepidation.

The last match of August was the 21st match of this year and there will be no ATAG next Tuesday due to the Labor Day Holiday.  Looking at the calendar , there are only five, possibly six, more weeks of ATAG before the Club closes the course for the annual Halloween Boo Bash.

John Wymer and Jim Williamson suggested that ATAG should have an ATAG Cup competition over the last few weeks of ATAG, borrowing on the Fed-Ex Cup championship series of tournaments. As usual when someone makes a suggestion for ATAG, the Commissioner immediately appoints them as chairmen, so Mr. Wymer and Mr. Williamson were appointed as Co-Chairmen, with an assist from Doug Healy, to study the matter and to present a White Paper to the Commissioner for his consideration. The trio envision an exciting conclusion to the season with a larger pot of dollar bills for a four week cumulative low net payoff. Details as to qualifications, pay out, etc., are to be included in the White Paper which must be neatly typed and double spaced before being submitted to the Commissioner who will take it under advisement.

Brooks Cowles was a late cancellation, saying that a “pipe broke and he was out” but gave no further information, causing some to wonder just what kind of pipe he was talking about. Fortunately, he was replaced by Jeff Kohn who, serendipitously,  ended up winning Low Net.

Congratulations go to ATAGer “Two Glove” Tom Thornhill, the winner of the Third Flight in this past weekend’s Club Championship, proving once again that playing on the ATAG Tour is a great enabler for honing one’s game to compete with the finest mid to high handicappers that the Club has to offer.

Finally, on a side note, here is something that perhaps the major sports news outlets should pick up on. ATAGer Mike Schmal is in Dublin, Ireland, attending his two sons football games on the same day this Saturday–his college age son who plays for Boston College in its game with Georgia Tech, and later in the day his high school age son who plays for Westminster High School. Not many Dads will be able to have that kind of special moment in their lives.

 Final Individual Results   8-30-16  Back Nine     Gross/Net

Majors                                                         38/34

Kohn                                                            39/34

Gaddis                                                         41/35

Thornhill                                                     41/35

Pearson                                                        41/36

Greene                                                          42/35

Murphy                                                         42/35

Player                                                             44/34

Nichols                                                          45/34

Wymer                                                           46/36

Martin                                                           46/39

Houle                                                             47/37

Williamson                                                   47/39

Batelaan                                                         47/42

Sawyer                                                            48/38

Healy                                                               49/43

Kisgen                                                              52/40

McGlynn                                                          52/41

McCormack                                                     55/42

Colbath                                                             55/44






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           Note:  This week’s match summary is provided by Jeff Kohn who joined the ATAG Tour in 2009. Despite his diminutive stature, the “Kohnman”, as he is called, is one of the few long ball hitters on the ATAG Tour.                   

ATAG Results: 8-23-2016-By Jeff Kohn

       “I’m glad we don’t have to play in the shade.”        Bobby Jones, when told it was 105° in the shade

 The chili 88° temperature on Monday gave way to  91° reading on Tuesday, thus making it easier to shoot a score that was  equal to or better than one half of the temperature. However for the sake of limiting embarrassment, the names and scores of those shooting 45.5 or greater will remain anonymous.

 On a happier note, ATAG drew a full constituency of players. The winning team, comprised of Tim Martin, Mike Schmal, Jeff Colbath, and John Wymer, shot a respectable 13- under par entitling each of them to a cold beer at the expense of the last-place team of Mike Gaddis, Tom Thornhill, Brooks Cowles, and The Commissioner which posted 4-under and in a last place tie with Greg Sellner, Tom Player, Jeff Kohn and Pat Murphy. The latter team narrowly escaped an obligation to purchase due to the tiebreaker. On Wednesday, all four escapees were spotted with highly visible rope burns around their necks.

 Hovering in the middle were the teams of Henry Sawyer, Richard Bateman, Ed McCormick, and David Danzig at  -11, and Frank Corrigan, Tom Houle, Jim Williamson and Tom Kisgen at -7.

 On an individual basis, Mike Schmal carded a two-over par 38 which easily enabled him to win the low gross for the day. The Low Net award was shared by four golfers all at two-under par; namely, Tim Martin, Mike Schmal, Tom Thornhill, and John Wymer who elected to split the $20 pot among them as opposed to engaging in a shoot-out for the whole ball of wax. Oh, what some people will do for $5.

At the other end of the spectrum, the dreaded Pink Lady went to Brooks Cowles and David Danzig who both toured the front nine at five-over par, net.

There were two shots heard round the world. First, Ed McCormack’s tee shot on hole number nine landed within 5 feet enabling him to card a birdie-net 1 with after sinking the putt. Second, Tom Thornhill’s 20 foot putt from off the green on number nine saved par and put him in a tie for the low net score of the day.

 Finally, Russ Jobson graced all with his cameo appearance on the 19th hole.

Commissioner’s Note: Birdies were deposited by the aforementioned Ed McCormack and Mike Schmal, with Mr. Schmal making a generous two bird donation. (Note: Mr. Schmal continues as the Birdie Club leader, serving notice to long time contenders Ron Majors and Bill Meagher that a new sheriff is in town.)

That’s it for this week. Scroll down for the individual scores and check out the preening winning team photo in the Gallery.  And, good luck to those ATAGers playing in this weekend’s Club Championship (net division, of course).

Final Results:  8-23-16   Front Nine    Gross/Net

Schmal                                                       38/34

Thornhill                                                    41/34

Batelaan                                                      41/36

Martin                                                          42/34

Kohn                                                             42/36

Gaddis                                                          44/38

Wymer                                                          45/34

Colbath                                                          47/36

Player                                                             47/36

Houle                                                              47/37

Murphy                                                           47/39

Williamson                                                     47/39

Kisgen                                                              48/36

McCormack                                                     49/35

Sawyer                                                              49/38

Corrigan                                                            49/38

Nichols                                                              51/40

Cowles                                                               51/41

Sellner                                                               53/40

Danzig                                                               53/41


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Note: This week’s commentary is offered by Bill Meagher, the lowest handicap golfer on the ATAG Tour, and the one who suggested years ago that a Low Net pool (funded by a one dollar entry fee per player) be collected each week and awarded to the player with the best low net for the day. Although Mr. Meagher has won numerous “atta boy” recognition in the ATAG Reporter for having the best low gross and who has more eagles than any other player on the ATAG Tour, he has never won Low Net. (but all of us high handicappers certainly appreciate his suggestion)

8-16-2016-By Bill Meagher

Whispers around the Club continue…”Has ATAG become soft?”…..”Did you see those guys go into the comforts of the Men’s Grill instead of going up to the ATAG porch?”…..

Under the backdrop of grey and cloudy skies, 20 optimistic golfers, all believing this was going to be “the greatest round of their lives”!!!, convened at the first tee, and off they went.

The first group, equipped with the latest chariot technology, under the direction of Tim Martin, fired the first shots off of hole # 10 and were off and running, never to be seen again. The rest of the foursomes resorted to the more traditional means of transportation; walking and pulling/pushing a Trolley up and down the hills of Ansley. The collection of talent on full display.

Coming in with the second group, which included a who’s who of ATAG Legends, Morris, Williamson, Sellner, I went to my car to retrieve my reporter’s pad and pen (and reading glasses), only to find no one on the ATAG porch!!! Undeterred, I climbed the steps to the sacred ground, fired up a cigar, and sat patiently waiting on my band of brothers. There was no possible way that Martin, Morris, Corrigan, McGlynn, Williamson, Sellner and Sawyer would not soon be joining me…..but NO!!

The next group of Wymer, Kisgen, Healy and Nichols finished up on 18 and came towards me…but wait, they did not come up to the porch either…These men of distinction, pillars of the ATAG community, Commissioner and Deputy Commissioner, retreated to the comfort of the Men’s Grill….I was stunned!!!!

It was at this point that I took matters into my own hands. I climbed down from the porch and marched in to the Men’s Grill to inspire, shame, motivate, embarrass my brothers to join me on the ATAG Porch…..I also ordered an ice cold beverage while I was there. I left in a huff, hoping I had said enough to affect action. To my delight, this band of misfits, (no one more misfit than me), one by one made their way to our rightful place on the porch. Order was restored and the usual bantering and BS began. (Commissioner’s Note: The Commish had preannounced the gathering would be in the Grill based upon the forecasted 92 degrees and, admittedly, found the air conditioned confines of the Grill to be a soothing greeting after a humid day walking the back nine course. But, by the end of the match the evening air was indeed pleasant and Mr. Meagher is to be congratulated for rounding us all up to the ATAG porch (he also had the “power of the pen” as a motivator) where the match results were announced and the beers kept flowing.)


*Winning Team     -10    Scotty Greene, Greg Berkey (visitor), Ed McCormack, Tom Thornhill

Sponsor:  -4   Tim Martin, Kevin McGlynn, Frank Corrigan, Henry Sawyer

Others:   Ron Majors, David Danzig, Randy Frazier (visitor), Pat Murphy   -9

Bill Meagher, Jim Williamson, Craig Sellner, Danny Morris    -9

Doug Healy, Tom Kisgen, John Wymer, Don Nichols    -6

Low Gross: Bill Meagher   38

**Low Net:  Don Nichols   -3

Pink Lady:  David Danzig  net +6

Birdies:  Bill Meagher, Greg Berkey (visitor),  Don Nichols

Note 1: The winning team had a key member, Dr. Greg Berkey. I believe he shot 40 with an important birdie along the way. While it is true Mr/Dr. Berkey did not make it to the ATAG Porch for celebration and fellowship (and in fact was seen playing Backgammon on the lower porch) I recommend no action or sanctions be imposed on him, due to the previous mentioned cowardly acts of the group retreating to the grill. He will be advised, however, that participation after the golf is expected and just plain courteous. (Commissioner’s Note:  The Commish was, in fact, pleased that visitor Berkey did not make it up to the porch to collect his free brewsky. Under ATAG by laws, if any player on the winning team is absent,  the Commissioner is awarded the absent player’s Golden Ale Trophy. Waiting for the day when there is more than one absent.)

Note 2: Low Net- Don Nichols– It was reported by several reliable sources that Don verbalized as recently as last Saturday that he was, and I quote, “Giving up this godforsaken game”!!! These same sources also noted a whole new change of demeanor and personality from Don after today’s round as compared to Saturday.

Note 3- SHOT OF THE DAY– There were 2 nominations: 1. Don Nichols, hits his second shot on 17 into the hazard, it bounces out and lands between the left bunker and the green some 20 feet from the pin. He elects to putt through the fringe and then sinks it for birdie. 2. Bill Meagher, standing so close to a tree on 14 that he knows the follow through will result in his club hitting the tree, changes to a 9 Iron, and from 68 yards punches the shot onto the green to 25 feet, and then 2 putts for par…..I will let the group decide on the winner!!!

Finally, it was another great night for ATAG; the fellowship and comradery evident at every turn. I look forward to many more great days!!!

Final Leaderboard     8-16-2016   Back Nine     Gross/Net

Meagher                                               38/35

Berkey                                                    40/34

Murphy                                                  41/34

Majors                                                    42/38

Healy                                                       43/37

Thornhill                                                 43/37

Nichols                                                   44/33

Frazier                                                      44/38

Morris                                                       45/37

Greene                                                       45/38

Williamson                                               46/38

Sawyer                                                        47/37

Martin                                                         47/40

McCormack                                                48/35

Corrigan                                                      48/37

Sellner                                                         49/37

Wymer                                                         50/40

Kisgen                                                          51/38

McGlynn                                                     51/40

Danzig                                                          53/42



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Note: There were no volunteers to chronicle the day’s match but the results are listed below and have been incorporated into the 2016 ATAG stats.

Winning Team:  -10 (wins with tie breaker)   Mike Schmal, Craig Sellner, Frank Corrigan, Doug Gooding

Sponsor:  -8   Danny Morris, Ron Majors, Jeff Colbath, Brooks Cowles

Low Gross:  Ron Majors    40

Low Net:  -2  Doug Gooding wins in what is best described as the “worst chip off in ATAG History” between Tim Martin, Tom Thornhill, Doug Gooding, and Danny Morris. Only two–Gooding and Morris–were able to even get the ball on the green, only to see each of their attempts roll about as far away as possible from the pin and still be considered on the green (they were actually farther away from the pin than the original chip off spot) After an extended walk, it was determined that Gooding’s ball was the least worst of the two. All four participants were met with boos and catcalls from those watching from the upper deck and the Commissioner threatened to withhold the money and contribute it to the year end awards ceremony.

Pink Lady: Brooks Cowles    net + 7

Birdies: Total of 4. One each from Ron Majors, Tom Thornhill, Tim Martin, and Frank Corrigan

Final Leaderboard   8-12-16  Front Nine   Gross/Net

Majors                                     40/35

Martin                                      41/34

Thornhill                                 41/34

Gooding                                   42/34

Schmal                                      42/38

Morris                                       43/34

Williamson                              44/36

Murphy                                     45/37

Wymer                                      46/35

Nichols                                      47/36

Colbath                                      47/36

Houle                                          47/36

Danzig                                        49/37

Sellner                                        50/37

Corrigan                                     52/41

Cowles                                        53/43


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Note: This week’s volunteer writer is Tom Houle who was called upon by the Commissioner when the original volunteer scribe had to withdraw from the match. It is Mr. Houle’s second contribution to the ATAG Reporter.

8-2-16-By Tom Houle

It was a very muggy night for a back 9 ATAG match, which started with 19 players and finished with 18, and who would have thought the heat would follow the group to the air conditioned Men’s grill, where the real fireworks started.

The winners were Tom Thornhill, Ed McCormack and Pat Murphy on the course as well as in the Clubhouse, when their randomly picked draw partner turned out to be Mike Schmal who had one of his best rounds of the year.  The group, after the draw, was 11 under.

The most dramatic action took place in the race for sponsorship, the loser on the course seemed to be the Valiant Commissioner’s Team threesome of Tom Houle, Don Nichols and Ron Majors. The group continued playing even after their fourth member Jeff Kohn fell ill on the second hole.(hope you feel better Jeff). The group finished only 2 under before the Men’s grill, destined to be the sponsor. However, in the most dramatic turnaround in ATAG history, this distinguished team ended up being randomly assigned Tom Thornhill (who also had his best round of the year) for the draw partner and finished at 9 under, thrusting the stacked team of  Jim Williamson, Danny Morris, Doug Healy and Mike Schmal into DAL buy mode with a score of 7 under. (Commissioner’s Note: These players pleaded with the Commissioner to be paired together so they could finish a prior uncompleted grudge match. The Commissioner at first refused, saying it was against ATAG protocol to have inter team competition in a four man team match, but begrudgingly acquiesced. Hmmm, it appears that ATAG karma made sure that ATAG protocol was upheld.)

Low Gross was Tom Thornhill and Mike Schmal, each posting a 37 and matching Ron Majors for the best Low Gross this year, and in Mike’s words, his round was the “best of times and the worst of times,” as he recorded 4 birdies as well as a couple of doubles. (Commissioner’s Note: This birdie barrage ties Ron Majors for most birdies in an ATAG round and also leap frogs Majors to be the Leader in the Clubhouse for the Birdie Club.

Low Net was Tom Thornhill at 6 under, clutch both in and out of the heat.

The Pink Lady was awarded to Ed McCormack who, despite getting 13 strokes, ended up at a net 5 over par, much to the relief of the Commissioner who, in his first match in 9 weeks, was at 4 over.

Birdies were numerous on the receptive greens. David Danzig, Craig Sellner, Ron Majors and Tom Houle each had one, and the aforementioned Schmal led the field with 4. Commissioner’s Note: Total of 8 birdies is the most this year. Danzig and Houle made the prestigious roster for the first time this year although Houle is also a member of the Elite Eagle Club.

The shot of the day was provided by the one two punch of Tom Kisgen and Tom Houle. An unbiased Kisgen shuffled the deck of score cards until they stopped on the number randomly picked by Tom Houle that led to the selection of Tom Thornhill as the draw partner.

The cool men’s grill proved a respite from the heat, and Wings of two flavors and scrumptious meatballs provided nourishment for the troops

Cameo appearances by Doug Gooding and Russ Jobson were duly noted, as was the guest player Michael Roberts.

A penalty for slow scorecard submission was assessed to team of Cowles, Thornton and Danzig, who despite their attempts at new math, could not secure the Golden Ale.

Final Leaderboard    8-2-2016    Back Nine       Gross/Net

Thornhill                                      37/30

Schmal                                          37/33

Williamson                                   43/35

Majors                                           43/39

Thornton                                       44/37

Houle                                             45/35

Murphy                                          45/38

Healy                                               46/40

Sellner                                             47/34

Morris                                              47/39

Danzig                                              48/37

Cowles                                              48/38

Wymer                                              48/38

Kisgen                                                49/37

Colbath                                              50/40

Nichols                                               51/41

McCormack                                       54/41

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July 26, 2016-By Don Nichols

There were no volunteers for the write up this week and no photographs were taken, but the match results are shown below along with some of my observations in the Men’s Grill where all 20 players gathered to escape the heat after their rounds.

It was a repeat of last week’s Front Nine match which was washed out mid round by a vengeful late afternoon rain storm. This week it was clear skies but a continuation of the 95+ degree heat.

Winning Team: -11   Doug Gooding, Brooks Cowles, Ed McCormack, and Kevin McGlynn (a last minute walk on to replace Henry Sawyer who was a late cancellation)

Sponsoring Team: -4   Frank Corrigan, Craig Sellner, Tom Houle, and Pat Murphy (Dropped 3 shots on the last hole to earn DAL status)

Low Gross: 42   Doug Gooding, Scotty Greene, Lee Pearson, Bill Meagher

Low Net: -2   Doug Gooding, Scotty Greene, and Kevin McGlynn. The course was busy so no opportunity for chip off (and no one other than the three were interested in watching a chip off and leaving the air conditioned confines of the Grill) so the three elected to split the pot. McGlynn was especially excited, wondering how long it had been since he won low net. (Records show it was October 5, 2015)

Pink Lady: Tim Martin   +5    The golf gods apparently noticed his last two rounds of 39 and rained down four double bogeys on the unsuspecting ATAG All Star for a score of 48.

Birdies: 6 of them—the most this year. The Birdie Club graciously accepted deposits from Ron Majors, Scotty Greene, Brooks Cowles, Lee Pearson, William Thornton and Doug Gooding, with Gooding making the prestigious roster for the first time this year. Majors and Thornton are currently the leaders in the clubhouse with five birdies each.

Grill And Other Happenings:

Speed of play continued to improve. The 5:00 pm group was off the green as I arrived at 7:00 pm and the other four teams were not far behind so it was an orderly procession into the Grill where scorecards were collected and the match results announced by the Commissioner.

Birthday Cake Surprise. It was John Wymer’s birthday and his thoughtful wife had prearranged delivery of a delicious birthday cake for all players to share. Kerry the barkeep took charge and did the slicing and the serving, and the surprise dessert was consumed in short order. When pressed about which birthday year it was, John claimed he had turned 57 which was met with loud guffaws. (the silver headed devil was obviously employing the old “subtract 10” trick whenever someone asks your age)

Having a Hawk Attack. The Ansley Hawk continues to circle the course for its prey and scored a hit on hole # 8. As relayed by eyewitness Doug Healy, “two in our group laid up on #8. As they headed down the hill, they ran headlong into the Ansley Hawk, now about 18 in tall and standing over a squirrel buffet.  His full attention switched to the circling golfers and would- be photographers until the threat was too much and he took to the air.  By the time we were putting he was back to enjoying his dinner.”

GrumblingsBill Meagher was overheard grumbling about the top dressing on the greens and then abruptly left. Tom Houle was overheard blaming Craig Sellner for his poor play after Sellner commented that Houle did not take a big enough back swing. Pat Murphy could not understand and could not be convinced as to why a player with an odd number handicap gets the extra stroke on the front nine instead of the more logical (to him) back nine. ATAG photographer Tim Martin, when asked if he took photos replied , “No, I was waiting for the chip off and no one came down.  When I got back half the group was gone.  I never knew who won what.” (Another example of players leaving early and another reason why gathering on the ATAG Upper Deck is more conducive to the ATAG experience.)

On The DL?   Scotty Greene was observed holding an ice bag over his knee, suggesting that knee surgery may soon be in his future. Likewise, Danny Morris was also seen sitting with a bag of ice behind his back. Russ Jobson has been sidelined with a bad back for the last 3 weeks, injured, ironically, while using the back extension exercise equipment in the fitness center. And, finally, yours truly has been sidelined for the past 9 weeks with a “strain of left side intercostal muscle, fascia, and tendon of lower back, and a thoracic strain of the upper right infraspinatus muscle.”  (that means both low and upper back pain) Physical therapy is ongoing and healing is progressing but takes longer when you are an “older” person. Hope to be back soon, possibly next week.

Whatever Happened To?    PJ Wade. Not one ATAG appearance so far this year and did not attend  the annual steak night or reply to the invitation.  (Rumors are that he is now a semi-professional baseball player.)   Anthony Morgan. Attended opening day and Steak Night but has not been seen since.  Both players are subject to having their ATAG Tour Card suspended.

That’s it for this week’s recap. Scroll down for the individual scores and look for the Call For Players on Sunday night.

Final Leaderboard  7-26-2106  Front Nine      Gross / Net

Gooding                                              42/34

Greene                                                 42/34

Pearson                                                42/35

Meagher                                               42/39

Williamson                                           43/35

Majors                                                   43/38

Morris                                                    44/35

McGlynn                                                45/34

Healy                                                      45/38

Gaddis                                                    45/38

Wymer                                                    46/35

Thornhill                                                 46/39

Murphy                                                    47/40

McCormack                                            48/35

Martin                                                       48/41

Cowles                                                       49/39

Corrigan                                                    50/37

Sellner                                                        51/38

Houle                                                          51/40


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