SUMMER SOLSTICE-ATAG STEAK NIGHT TRADITION CONTINUES!


6-21-2016-By Don Nichols

It was the annual Summer Solstice ATAG Steak Night and what a great evening it turned out to be for the 26 players who were able to attend the golf fraternity gathering at the residence of core ATAGer Scotty Greene!  (There was a prior “Limited Edition” ATAG match held earlier in the day for those guys who simply could not miss getting their weekly ATAG fix– more on that later)

The weather could not have been nicer and the beer could not have been colder. That, coupled with the freely flowing red wine and the USDA Prime Cut steaks cooked to perfection and supported with all kinds of good “fix ins”,  made it possible to see yet again the famed ATAG camaraderie at its finest. (Too hard to describe–it’s one of those, “you had to have been there.”

A special thanks goes out to host Scotty Greene for keeping this annual tradition alive, his support staff (i.e. neighbor Ed McCormick), and party committee members Ron Majors (steak purveyor), Doug Healy (all the good “fix ins”), Mike Schmal (the beer, including his own personalized special edition-see photo gallery), Craig Sellner and Jeff Colbath (co chefs), and again Scotty Greene (who also provided an unlimited number of bottles of wine and other “party stuff” in addition to making available his beautiful and spacious home), and Kevin McGlynn (assigned as the post party bill collector)

Now for the “Limited Edition” ATAG Match. The Club graciously awarded three early tee times for the back nine match enabling three teams to compete for a $5 cash prize (cost of a beer) in lieu of the Golden Ale which was already on ice at the Greene residence.

The Winners:  William Thornton, Doug Gooding, Henry Sawyer, Frank Corrigan   -5 (despite dropping 3 shots on the last hole)

The Contributors:   Mike Schmal, Doug Healy, Tom Kisgen, Brooks Cowles    -4   (tie breaker bogey on #16 cost them five bucks)

Best Gross Score:  Mike Schmal   42

Low Net:  – 3  Frank Corrigan   WTF?  That’s right, the guy who had to rent a storage locker for all of his pink golf balls over the years won his third low net, making him the leader in the clubhouse for Top Money Winner and the hands down winner for “Most Improved Player” at the end of the year awards banquet.

Pink Lady:  Henry Sawyer  net 4 over (Danzig scrambled to beat him at the end with a triple but Sawyer matched him to win by one shot)

Birdies:  Nada–not surprising with the limited field-but a shut out nevertheless

That’s it for this week’s recap. Check out the photos in the Gallery and scroll down to see the individual scores of those who participated in the “Limited Edition Pay For Cash”ATAG Match.

Final Individual Scores:  6-21-16  Back Nine   Gross/Net

Schmal                                       42/37

Williamson                                   44/36

Gooding                                        44/37

Murphy                                         44/37

Corrigan                                   45/33

Thornton                                       45/39

Morris                                            46/38

Martin                                            46/39

Kisgen                                            48/36

Player                                             48/38

Cowles                                            48/39

Healy                                              49/42

Sawyer                                            50/40

Danzig                                            51/39

 

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A MUGGY MATCH!


Commissioner’s Note: The Commissioner misses yet another match while remaining on the DL– but ATAG marches on, and thanks once again to Acting Commish Danny Morris who had to deal with late cancellations.  This week’s recap is provided by core ATAGer Jim Williamson who first digresses into his own personal magical mystery tour before giving his recap of this week’s happenings on the ATAG Tour.

6-14-2016 -WHAT A DIFFERENCE AN HOUR MAKES!   BY JIM WILLIAMSON 

At 4:00 the radar looked ominous. Our wonderful pro shop manager, Anna, commented the storms have not moved for 3 hours and she was not optimistic about ATAG chances. Undeterred 13 sanguine ATAGERs and 2 guests gathered and at 5:00 the rain cleared and the match began.

However, after playing a few holes the term “muggy” was redefined. On the 4th hole lite showers began and as I strolled down the fairway I started humming an old BJ Thomas tune “ Rain Drops Keep Fallin’ On My Head” which made me think of Butch Cassidy and the Sun Dance Kid which brought Katherine Ross to mind( always thought she was cute). I then started thinking about The Graduate which she also starred in along with Dustin Hoffman which reminded me of Dustin Johnson which made me realize how excited I am about the US Open this weekend. Sorry, I digressed.

All 15 of the mighty warriors marched to the finish line with the following results.

Winning Team: Tom Houle, Pat Murphy, Tom Kisgen and Ron Majors (-11)

DAL team: Danny Morris, Mike Schmal, Craig Sellner, Jim Williamson (-8)

Low Net: A very excited and first time winner, Tom Houle (32)

Low Gross: Ron Majors and Mike Schmal both with (42)

Birdie Club: Pat Murphy on #7

Pink Lady:  Kevin McGlynn and Craig Sellner   net +5

A delightful summer evening was enjoyed by all on the ATAG deck with cameo appearances by Doug Healy and Scotty Green. There was only one noteworthy confession made by Kevin McGlynn “I have lost the lead in my pencil”.

Final Individual Results:  6-14-16  Front Nine  Gross/Net  Ranked By Net Scores

Tom Houle        43/32

Tom Kisgen          47/34

Danny Morris     43/34

Brookes Cowles  45/35

Mike Schmal      42/36

Doug Gooding    44/36

Jeff Kohn             43/38

Ron Majors         42/38

Jim Williamson  47/38

Pat Murphy        46/39

Henry Sawyer    50/40

K. McGlynn        52/41

Craig Sellner      54/41

 

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Note: With the Commissioner still on the DL, and Acting Commish Doug Healy called away at the last minute, ATAG counsel John Wymer readily came off the bench to assume the role. However, it was Doug Gooding, a member of the ATAG Tour since 2006, who provides the below recap of the day’s gathering to insure that the saga of the ATAG Experience continues on despite the absence of the Commissioner. The Commissioner wishes to thank both Mr. Wymer and Mr. Gooding, and made note of Mr. Gooding’s subtle reference to the slow play of the members of the first group, each of whom will have a Letter of Reprimand placed in their files.

June 7, 2016-By Doug Gooding

On an exceptionally beautiful June evening, the ATAG Dirty Dozen (a group of real men, and Marty Arnold, dedicated to the game and brotherhood) attacked the Ansley back nine– and the course, which was in great shape, fought back. With only three groups competing, the difference between drinking and buying was negligible. In truth, the “buy zone” was crowded.

Despite giving back a shot on the final hole, the team of William Thornton, Kevin McGlynn, Marty Arnold and Frank Corrigan posted a score of -8, escaping with a narrow victory to capture the ATAG Ale. Their generous sponsors, John Wymer, Mike Schmal, Tom Player and Scotty Greene, finished at -6, unable to make up ground on the final two holes, despite a (self-described) heroic 30 foot birdie putt by Lucky Mike on 18. (In truth, it was a great putt, with a lot of right to left break, as both of the foursomes waiting on the 18th tee will confirm.) The third group (Jim Williamson, Jeff Colbath, Tom Houle and Doug Gooding), just happy to escape the buy zone without buying, slid into second place with a score of -7, also failing to make up ground over the final two holes. These four men represented ATAG well with class, dignity, patience and bogies.

Acting Commissioner for the Acting Commissioner, John Wymer, Esq., oversaw the match and declared the winners. Note to file: Acting Commissioner Doug Healy withdrew despite his leadership responsibilities which he claims to take seriously. Thank you to ACAC Wymer for stepping in on a moment’s notice. While William Thornton was announced as the Low Gross player with a score of 41, Frank Corrigan walked home with the money (a profit of $11) as Low Net winner with carded 34 (gross 46). Marty Arnold added to his Pink Lady collection.

The competition is best described by its highlights and memorable moments: phenomenal weather and the return of Courtney on the Beverage Cart. Shots of the day were found on the tough par four 16th as Mr. Corrigan scored a 4 net 2, as did John Wymer with a 160 yard shot to 7 inches from the cup for his tap in. Mike Schmal’s birdie on 18 was the only one recorded for the three groups.

Following the match, great fellowship was found on the porch, as topics included the plans for the Booby Jones Golf Course, Scotty Greene vividly reviewing a movie he had seen, The Lobster, (which convinced his audience to save their money) and unfortunately/inevitably, politics. Cameo appearances by Ron Majors, Steve Bates and Russ Jobson were welcomed. Ron proved most helpful to a rookie scribe (writer). During the postgame chatter, it was revealed that while the 2nd group was viewed as “plodding” or perhaps “snail-paced” , they were actually keeping pace (waiting on) the group of ATAGers in front of them. Fortunately, those players at the end of the wagon train thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to visit throughout the round, as did the groups behind us that we came to know quite well.

Commissioner’s Note: For the second week in a row, there were no photos taken as ATAG photographer Tim Martin was absent, and his usually reliable back up Kevin McGlynn apparently failed to assume the role.

Final Results: 5-24-16  Front Nine   Gross/Net

Thornton                    41/35

Gooding                      43/35

Greene                        43/37

Schmal                      45/38

Corrigan                     46/34

Wymer                        48/37

Houle                          48/38

Colbath                       48/38

McGlynn                     48/38

Williamson                 49/37

Player                          51/41

Arnold                         53/43

 

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ATAG E-MAIL SYSTEM SNAFU!


Note: The Commissioner remains on the DL and missed this week’s match but the action continued and was chronicled by this week’s scribe ATAG CFO Doug Healy who was nearly cut out of his weekly ATAG fix due to an e-mail snafu, the second week in a row that e-mail responses from some of the players have mysteriously not found their way into the Commissioner’s  e-mail basket. Mr. Healy vents his frustration with the ATAG e-mail system before getting into the narrative of the match.

“ATAG Descends into Chaos as the Commissioner’s Secure Email System Malfunctions Cause Confusion and Panic!  5-24-2016 By Doug Healy

As reliable as a rising sun in the east, the Call for Players generally settles into your inbox in the pre-dawn hours of the preceding Monday when the Commissioner, unable to sleep, taps his send button reaffirming to his minions that another ATAG Tuesday is in the works.  Over the last two weeks however, the Swiss watch efficiency of this process has been challenged with several players, including this writer, not receiving the Call, or worse, having their responses go unacknowledged until realizing in panic that they had been dropped from the competition.  When advised of the confusion, the usually unflappable Commissioner has been forced into a behind the scenes scramble to rearrange tee times and pairings.  The unintended victim of this week’s confusion was Pat Murphy, who graciously acquiesced to being bumped by this correspondent.  As luck would have it, we were able to play a fivesome so everyone was able to participate.  In fairness, the Commissioner has been equally shocked by this technological aberration and has vowed to make whatever improvements are necessary.  To that end, he has brought in IBM, Google and Lexi Thompson to investigate. The initial probe has centered on the Commissioner himself who maintains so many different email addresses that it is nearly impossible to track them all.  Nevertheless, I am quite sure that no stone will go unturned by this group and the system will be back to its model efficiency by next week.

Now on to more compelling topics.  Fabulous weather brought 17 competitors to the field for a close match on the front 9.  The fivesome dropped a random player and all four teams finished between -7 and -10.  The winners at -10 were Danny Morris, Mike Schmal, Marty Arnold and John Wymer.  Bringing up the rear at -7 was the team of Ron Majors, Scotty Greene, Jeff Colbath and Jeff Kohn.  The middle teams tied at -8.  As usual, we were the beneficiaries of the generous efforts and service of Kerry and Jonathan to keep the food and beverages flowing making it another delightful evening in the ATAG Skybox.

Low net at 34 ended in a tie between Majors and Morris (who has been playing particularly well lately).  The traditional chip off was suspended due to excessive traffic on the course and the bounty was split between the two competitors.

The Pink Lady (net 43) was awarded posthumously to David Danzig  who killed himself after the round.

Three birdies were added to the statistics; one each by Healy, Meagher and Kisgen.  Kisgen’s birdie on #9 proved to be the deciding factor in keeping his team out of a tie for last place which they would have lost had a playoff been necessary.

There was little discussion about the Shot of the Day until Tom Player stepped up on #9 and duffed his drive into an unplayable lie. At that point, the entire Skybox crowd focused their attention on the gritty competitor who launched his third from somewhere around the ladies tee box to 10 inches. His playing partner graciously spared him any further embarrassment by picking it up and allowing Mr. Player to ascend the stairs with a fully pumped chest. If there was ever a bogey that felt like a birdie, this was it.

Another great evening of golf and camaraderie ended without further incident. The full results are posted below:

Morris, Schmal, Arnold, Wymer     -10

Healy, Cowles, Kisgen, Thornton -8

Murphy, Danzig, Williamson, Player, Meagher -8

Majors, Greene, Colbath, Kohn – 7

Commissioner’s Comments:  The Commissioner acknowledges an apparent snafu in the ATAG E-Mail system and has ordered an internal audit by the ATAG Technological Oversight Committee to determine if there has been any breach of sensitive ATAG communications amongst the players by outside hackers (i.e. jealous golfers) attempting to diminish the ATAG Experience. The FBI was consulted, but the aforementioned Google, IBM, and Lexi Thompson were not.

Final Results: 5-24-16  Front Nine   Gross/Net

Meagher                         38/35

Majors                                39/34

Schmal                               41/36

Morris                                42/34

Thornton                           42/36

Murphy                              43/36

Kohn                                    43/37

Williamson                          45/36

Arnold                                   46/35

Healy                                     46/38

Greene                                   48/40

Kisgen                                    49/36

Colbath                                   49/38

Wymer                                    50/37

Player                                      50/39

Cowles                                     50/40

Danzig                                      55/43

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A GAME OF MOANS!


Note: The Commissioner placed himself on the DL this week but fortunately long time ATAGer and noted sculptor Tom Player (whose beautiful bronze work can be seen at http://www.tomplayersculpture.comvolunteered to continue the tradition of chronicling the ATAG Tour. His artistic narrative as to how this particular Tuesday afternoon went is provided below.

5-17-16 ATAG-By Tom Player

I have been ask to chronicle the day. I hope to forgo the frivolous and capture the heroic nature of what we do here.

The day wore a mantle of ragged edges. It was threatening rain. Lesser men would have turned from the challenge, but not THE SIXTEEN. Four by four they descended onto the killing ground. Among the sounds of anguish and exhilaration was the creaking of straps and braces, moaning of the pull carts and rumbling of the occasional War Wagon.

After the battlefield cleared and the warriors ascended to the top of The Wall, we learned that only 2 shots separated the four teams. In a playoff, David Danzig, Jeff Kohn, Kevin McGlynn and Doug Healy (note: two Jews and two Irishmen, there must be a joke in there) took the Ale at ­8 under in a playoff with Thornton, Morris, Majors and Tommy Two Glove Thornhill.  Buying at ­6 under were Meagher, Colbath, Sellner and Cowles.

Then there was the apparition of a likeness of William Thornton who took both low gross and low net with a 38!32.

Shots ‘O Day were two. Bill Meagher exploded from the sand on 13 into the cup. We shall name this shot The Dwarf Lannister (short, ugly but got it in the hole). Those dwarfs will do that.

Then Tom (Gravity­is­my Friend) Player snaked an incredible 50 footer in for a birdie on 18. Speaking of birdies, The Club of Player and Meagher were joined by Jeff Kohn and William Thornton.

Highlight of the Day was Frank Corrigan winning a real Pink Lady in addition to the one he pocketed. His first grandchild, the beautiful and talented and yet to be named grand daughter (called “Baby Girl Corrigan” for now) born at Northside Hospital to cap off the evening. Corrigan had 53/41.

So as dusk morphed into night without the presence of our leader Don the Lame, strains of Henry V were heard, “…we few, we happy few, we Band of Brothers.”

Final Results: 5-17-16 Back Nine  Gross/Net         (as reported by Danny Morris and ranked in order of best net scores)

Thornton                             38/32

Majors                                      39/35

Cowles                                       45/36

Player                                         46/36

Sellner                                        49/36

Kohn                                            42/37

Kisgen                                         49/37

Colbath                                        48/38

Thornhill                                      45/39

Morris                                           47/39

McGlynn                                       49/39

Greene                                            47/40

Meagher                                        43/40

Danzig                                             48/40

Healy                                                48/40

Corrigan                                           53/41

 

 

 

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ATAG MATCH UNCHRONICLED! DID IT REALLY HAPPEN?


Commissioner’s Comments: There were no volunteers to chronicle this week’s front nine ATAG match so the Commissioner went table to table asking several players to assume the role–but, to the Commissioner’s consternation, none of those asked were willing to do so, managing to proffer one lame excuse after another. Accordingly, without the recap, only those present this past Tuesday will know if there was even a match at all. (There was definitely some activity on the porch as several ATAGers opted to stay late after ordering one or more rounds of shots of bullet bourbon.)

However, not to totally shirk his  responsibility, the Commissioner did receive score cards that obligate him to reveal that there may, in fact, have been a match with the following results:

Winning Team:  -12      Doug Healy, Kevin McGlynn, Jeff Colbath, Brooks Cowles

Sponsor:     -2     Tom Kisgen, Jeff Kohn, Craig Sellner, Pat Murphy

Low Gross:  39    Bill Meagher

Low Net:  -4  Brooks Cowles

Pink Lady:  William Thornton  net 6 over

Shot Of The Day:  Bill Meagher holes out on # 2 for an Eagle

Birdie Club:  Brooks Cowles-with 2

Cameos:  Al Roberds and Russ Jobson

That’s it for this week. You will have to ask those present just really went on this Tuesday of May 10, 2016.

 

 

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DOMINATING NO MORE!


NOTE This week’s match recap is provided by long time ATAGer Brooks Cowles who was chastised in last week’s report for falsely claiming the low net booty but who has since made amends. The affable funeral home broker (what, you didn’t know there was such a thing?)  offers his insights into the back nine trample experienced by today’s field.

Start with a field hot off dominating the entire Ansley Golf Club Member – Member Tournament (okay, maybe just a few nether flights, but still dominating); add the daunting back 9; sprinkle some sand on some already hairy greens; and top with swirling winds, and what do you get? Well, basically, a girl-fight. After 2  1/2 days of thrashing par, whippin’ Settindown ass and drinking Phil dry, the ATAG field could only muster a middle of the road performance that quickly put to rest all those thoughts of, “OMG, I finally get this game!”

9 UNDER TAKES IT. Jimmy Williams, Jeff Kohn, Mike Schmal and John Wymer collaborated for a respectable score of 9 under par to edge out the Commissioner’s team of Don Nichols, Ron Majors, Brooks Cowles, and a clearly exhausted 8th Flight Champion Tom Kisgen, who was heard to say more than once, “you try dragging McGlynn around for 3 days and nights and see how you feel.”

The host was the DAL team of Danny Morris, Tim Martin, Craig Sellner and Pat Murphy, who dribbled in with a team score of 2 under par. Although uncorroborated at this time, the tone was apparently set early in the round when 6th Flight Champion and erstwhile team leader Danny Morris managed to produce a drive off #11 tee that found the creek rocks directly in front of the tee and caromed back over his head for a net drive of minus 1 yard. If true, this would be Shot of the Day, only because this writer knows from personal experience that while this can be an easy shot from the 2d tee, it is a monster from the 11th, requiring a pure ricochet of almost 25 yards. Luckily no one was hurt.

DON NICHOLS TAKES LOW NET.  MATH CHECKS OUT! The Commish slapped, cajoled and chaperoned his ball around a tough playing back 9 for a ‘good enough’ 1 under par to take home the big money for low net. The math was double and triple checked to avoid the embarrassment and pain of last week’s scoring debacle (for which I again apologize to all), and it was confirmed that The Donald was the only player to break par on this day.

LOW GROSS TIE. Tired of taking low gross on alternating weeks, Ron Majors and Mike Schmal agreed to share it this week with a score of 41.

COLBATH SECURES PINK LADY. Jeff Colbath sucked more with a plus 5 net score, to edge out 8th Flight Champion Kevin McGlynn, who was clearly surprised. “After watching Kisgen hit nearly 175 shots over the last few days, I really thought I could get this one.”

BIRDIES. Scotty Greene was the lone contributor to the Birdie Club, with a chip that found the bottom of the cup on #14,

SHOT OF THE DAY. Could be a toss up between Morris’ aforementioned negative yardage drive, Greene’s legitimate chip in,  and William Thornton’s attempt to pry his ball out of the tennis court fence on 17th  (see Gallery) in total defiance of the laws of both physics and golf. On the plus side, Greene’s aforementioned chip-in, and David Danzig’s up-and-down (which is actually 2 shots of course) for par on 17 after his second landed somewhere near the ladies 18th tee were mentioned.

THE PORCH SCENE. The group finished a beautifully mild evening on the porch with fish sticks, medium-rare chicken wings and beer. Unfortunately, Doug Gooding escaped prematurely to attend the birth of his next wife, and Tom Houle delayed proceedings a bit trying to pencil-whip his team’s card into first place. Houle was later heard trying to raise funds for some “Math Matters” tee shirts, but found a tepid response.

Table talk turned briefly to the Indiana primary results, proving conclusively that absolutely no one on the third floor porch at Ansley Golf Club between 7pm and 9pm on May 3, 2016,  knows more about politics than ATAG!

See you all next Tuesday–Brooks Cowles

COMMISSIONER’S COMMENTS:   Another great job by a volunteer scribe who admitted when he sent in his commentary that “wow, I see why you needed a break.”  It is sometimes hard to capture the essence of the ATAG experience but so far nothing has been lost using the time and talents of the ATAG fraternity in chronicling the weekly matches. On a personal note, the Commissioner was pleasantly surprised to win low net with only a 1 under score. In reviewing the stats, a one under winner has happened only a few times throughout the years—and always on the dastardly back nine. Interesting to note that seven players in today’s field finished only one shot short of the low net which would have made a chip off almost a tournament in itself.

That’s it for this week’s recap. Check out the photos in the Gallery and scroll down for the individual scores from today’s match.

5-3-2016   Final Individual Results     Back Nine     Gross/Net

Schmal                                                          41/36

Majors                                                           41/37

Gaddis                                                                42/36

Kohn                                                                   42/37

Williamson                                                        44/36

Gooding                                                              44/36

Murphy                                                               44/37

Thornton                                                             44/38

Nichols                                                            46/35

Cowles                                                                   46/36

Martin                                                                    46/39

Greene                                                                    46/39

Houle                                                                      47/36

Morris                                                                     47/39

Wymer                                                                     48/36

Danzig                                                                      49/37

Sellner                                                                      50/37

McGlynn                                                                  50/40

Kisgen                                                                       51/38

Colbath                                                                     51/41

 

 

 

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SPECIAL BULLETIN: ATAG DOMINATES 2016 MEMBER-MEMBER TOURNAMENT!


May 1, 2016-By Don Nichols

ATAG Tour players cleaned up at this weekend’s Member-Member Tournament, winning three of the flights outright and finishing in the money in other areas in a two day tournament that saw 192 players competing head to head.

Congratulations to the ATAG Flight Champions:

6th Flight Champion                                 Danny Morris and Mike Gaddis

7th Flight Champion                                  Anthony Morgan and William Thornton

8th Flight Champion                                  Kevin McGlynn and Tom Kisgen

Other Winners:

8th Flight Runner Up                          John Wymer and Tom Thornhill

Close Up Winner- Settindown         Danny Morris #7 (Sat); Tom Thornhill (Fri)

Close Up Winner-Settindown          William Thornton/Tom Thornhill  #5

Close Up Winner-Ansley                    Anthony Morgan #9; Tom Thornhill # 12

Day Money-Settindown                      Jim Williamson/Doug Healy/Tom Houle

Day Money-Ansley                                Brooks Cowles            

Putting Contest                                      Anthony Morgan (aces a 70 foot putt)

The Commissioner wishes to thank all ATAGers who participated in the tournament and is proud of those who carried the ATAG banner to victory and to all those who showed the true competitive spirit of the ATAG Tour in placing their names in the final leaderboard standings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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ECSTASY, AGONY, AND ECSTASY!


NOTE: This week’s contributing writer is long time ATAGer and host of the annual ATAG Steak Night Scotty Greene. He offers his insights on both the match and the drama that unfolded later in the evening.

“Golf is a cruel sport.”  author unknown

“What a stupid I am…”      Roberto De Vicenzo

Ecstasy, Agony, and Ecstasy: 4-26-2016: By Scotty Greene                                                    

From a detached, analytical distance the Ansley Tuesday Afternoon Golf (ATAG) group would not appear to present a writer much, if any, extraordinary material to work with. ATAG is a collection of mostly mid to high handicappers…all men, mostly all aged north of 60 (with the handful of under 50 and even under 30 year old players who probably tell their friends that they do volunteer work with sr. citizens on Tuesday evening) who gather weekly on Tuesday evenings to play casually competitive half rounds of golf for the largely symbolic stakes of a beer and a dollar.

But the writer assigned this piece is not detached, analytical, or writing from distant perspective. This writer is a participant, a player….who, after years of playing ATAG, knows firsthand the drama, the emotions, the agony and the ecstasy that always lurk beneath the apparent calm surface of this weekly afternoon golf outing. And the ATAG round on Tuesday April 26, 2016 could possibly go down as the record breaking example of all of these things coming together at the same time both on and off the course.

But I digress. First, let’s get the facts straight: Danny Morris, Brooks Cowles, Scotty Greene, and (visitor) Tom Lewis made up the Winning Team roster firing a team 10 under to collect the golden ale from the losers (DAL for Dead Ass Last) Jeff Kohn, Tim Martin, Doug Gooding, and (newcomer, under 50 years old!!) Scott Vandermeer with a team score of 7 under. (more on this later, in the drama section).

Twenty Two Handicapper Tom Houle won Low Net honors shooting a 43(!) for net -4, 32! His round included a jaw dropping, awe inspiring real Eagle 2, net zero on the not easy par 4, no. 4 hole. There may have been ATAG eagles before…but it is doubtful that there have been any like this: by a 22 handicapper, after a perfect drive, a perfectly struck 9 iron from 125 yards out that found the bottom of the cup on one bounce. ECSTASY! Team mate Jeff Colbath’s 4 net 3 gave their team a stunning 5 shot (surely record setting) pick up. Dramatic indeed. But we are just getting started.

Ron Majors won Low Gross…a-gain…(yawn) shooting a decidedly meh (for him) round of 40, losing 4 shots to par in the last three holes.

The Pink Lady winner for highest net went to ATAG journeyman Doug Healy for his net 9 over par. His 16 handicap wasn’t enough to save him from a personal worst 53 gross (a whopping 17 different swing thoughts over par in one round)

Back to the drama. Those who saw Tom Houle come off the no.9 or come up the steps and take his seat knew something was up. There was the spring in his gait, his grin, the sparkle in his eyes that told veteran mid/high handicappers that one of their own must have had a better than usual round of golf. Turns out we didn’t know the half of it! The 43 answer to the usual post round Q&A …”whadyashoot?”. did not dent the grin or the sparkle. Ok great, 43 and…? 9 IRON, HOLE OUT EAGLE ON NO.4! Houle’s teammates were talking all at once: “Didn’t see it go in…walked around looking for it…found it in the hole!” Now Houle’s grin was a big smile, the eyes really lit up as he gave the ATAG version of post round “what was going through my mind” account of a great golf shot( “I nutted it”), with an incredible result…an Eagle, net zero and final 43. Ecstasy.

Agony (ok, disappointment) Surely a 22 handicapper who eagles a par 4 hole with two pops and who keeps his s—t together to card a final 43 net 32 will win something…. Winning Team, Low Net….something. But no. At least for that moment in time, Houle’s eagle and teammate Colbath’s birdie on 9 meant only that they were not DAL and didn’t have to buy. Brooks Cowles, 21 handicapper, thinking he had shot 42, net 31 got the dough, the photo, and the applause for Low Net winner.

In echoes of the 1968 Masters (when Roberto DeVicenzo left the course thinking he had shot his way into a play-off with Bob Goalby),  Cowles, Houle, and the ATAG golfing world, would discover that a scorecard error undid that result. Like DeVicenzo, Cowles did not check his card closely before it went to the Commissioner. Cowles would have seen that the 42 on the card omitted his 5 on no. 9 for total of 47. Houle really did shoot a 43, but gracefully accepted the fact that his score, with its net zero Eagle, was not enough to claim Low Net honors and the money.

Ecstasy. Overnight the Commish, when reviewing the scorecards of each team, spotted the error on Cowles team card, informed all involved, and gave Tom Houle the delayed pleasure of winning Low Net. The error did not change the winning team results. The email exchanges between the Commish, Cowles, Houle and Morris (Cowles teams’ scorekeeper) showed the ATAG hallmarks of grace and sportsmanship.

Afterthoughts (and a little more drama). For the first time in this writer’s memory there was a four way tie for DAL, with four teams locked at seven under, necessitating the tie breaker card comparison system.

Colbath birdied No. 9 to win the card playoff to save his temporarily benighted team from buying and to keep the Birdie Train rolling.

Shot of the Day: See above. Weather: Nice. Trends: High handicappers winning low net.

COMMISSIONER’S COMMENTS:

The Commissioner thanks Mr. Greene for his insightful and eloquent chronicle of this Tuesday’s match and its aftermath. Three people were culpable for the error that resulted in Tom Houle being denied his official low net recognition and photo presentation of the coveted twenty one dollar bills–scorekeeper Danny Morris whose addition error reported a score of 42 on the card, Brooks Cowles, who should have known there was no way he could have shot a 42 (see his apologetic comments below), and the Commissioner himself who should have checked the math on the low net claimant’s score after receiving the card on the porch. (something he will most definitely do from now on). Fortunately, the error was caught in time to enable it to be rectified and published accordingly and appropriate apologies were issued.

Brooks Cowles:  “again, my responsibility to check card.  I was thinking during the round that Scotty might have it after he drained putt after putt, so I was surprised when my gross was reported.  I don’t think I have ever shot 42 in my life.  But with each pat on the back, my ‘Sally Fields Oscar moment’ (you like me!) deepened.  And when I got my hands on that fat wad of bills, I was done.  Now I have to figure out how to get 42 out of the handicap system where I proudly entered it! Tom, you can get your money at Tattletales. Cheyenne has most of it but Amber and Jade have some too.”

That’s it for this week’ recap. Check out the photos in the Gallery and scroll down for the individual scores from today’s match. And, good luck to those ATAGers playing in this weekend’s Member-Member Tournament! As ATAG Standard Bearers, we trust that we will see one or more of your names in the final standings on the Leaderboard.

Final Results: 4-26-2016    Front Nine      Gross/Net

Majors                                                40/35

Greene                                                  42/34

Martin                                                   42/35

Vandermeer                                          42/35

Houle                                                    43/32

Kohn                                                        44/38

Morris                                                     45/37

Wymer                                                     46/34

McGlynn                                                  46/36

Williamson                                              46/37

Gooding                                                    46/39

Kisgen                                                       47/34

Cowles                                                       47/35

Nichols                                                       47/36

Lewis                                                          47/37

Colbath                                                       48/37

Murphy                                                       49/42

Corrigan                                                      52/40

Healy                                                          53/45

Jobson                                                         54/43

 

 

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A PERFECT DAY FOR GOLF AND A VERY FAST TRACK!


NOTE: This week’s volunteer contributing writer is long time ATAGer Tom Kisgen, a professional engineer by trade but better known to all of us as the ATAG Humorist.

April 19, 2016 ATAG Reporter: Tom Kisgen

A full field of golfers showed up for this week’s match on Ansley’s onerous back nine, playing considerably shorter these days thanks to the dry Spring weather and the short zoysia grass which is just starting to wake-up from a long winter’s nap.   Twenty lucky ATAGers were rewarded by Mother Nature with beautiful mild weather and a gentle breeze on this day

Commish’s team does it again!

Well, that’s not actually true, but the Commish’s pre-match pick as this week’s favorites nearly pulled it off. John Wymer, Mike Gaddis, Tom Houle and David Danzig won the match in a tie-breaker over the Commish’s odds on favorites– Ron Majors, Brooks Cowles, Tim Martin and Frank Corrigan. This week’s winning score was a not so impressive 8 under, considering the ideal scoring conditions. Sponsoring the free drinks for the winners were the DAL team of William Thornton, Jeff Colbath, Pat Murphy and Mike Schmal with a score of 2 under. And with the other two teams turning in scores of 3 under and 4 under, this was a day of mediocre play with perhaps 1 or 2 exceptions. But, congrats to the winners! And better luck next time to all the rest of us.

LOW NET WINNER: Frank Corrigan, firing a blistering 43, for a net 31, was unchallenged as this week’s low net champ! Frank advised that his card featured 4 pars, 1 birdie (more on that in a minute) and 4 “others” in his round, which nearly won low gross honors.   Frank took home this week’s purse of twenty bucks.

LOW GROSS WINNER: Narrowly squeaking by Frank’s 43 gross was this week’s low gross winner Ron Majors with a score of 42. Ron confessed that the best thing about his round was showing up on the first tee and witnessing Frank’s great play.

PINK LADY WINNER: In a rout, Kevin McGlynn posted a net 10 over to walk away with the pink lady award this week.

SHOT OF THE DAY: Numerous candidates for shot of the day included Scotty Greene’s skulled hybrid approach to hole number 17, which bounced off the wall of clear creek and scooted up onto the green for an improbable par, and John Wymer’s remarkable pars on holes 15 (sunk a 75 foot par putt) and a pitch from somewhere near the tennis courts to 3 feet from the pin on number 18 green to save par. But, the clear cut shot of the day belongs to Frank Corrigan, whose tee shot on 18 was stiff to the pin for a tap in birdie!   Way to go, Frank!

BIRDIE CLUB: The Birdie Train kept rolling thanks to the individual efforts of Frank Corrigan and Jeff Colbath, each of whom birdied # 18, the latter making his first ATAG appearance of the year.

SEEN ON THE COURSE: Debra, our lovely former drink cart lady, back in town for a short visit, graced us with her presence at the first tee, where she gave out those warm soft Debra hugs to several of her favorite ATAGers.  The Commish’s team was apparently awarded a mulligan on those hugs over at the 12th tee. (see Gallery) And not seen on the course this week thankfully, was that loud and obnoxious helicopter moving up and down along the Beltline right of way, and disturbing our peace. Good riddance.

19TH HOLE CHATTER: A perfect day for golf turned into a perfect evening for lingering on the upper porch, enjoying good company, good wings (more on that in a minute) and the pleasant weather. Danny Morris notched a cameo appearance after he came by to catch the recap of the stories of our golfing exploits. Double D (aka David Danzig)  was chastised for his blistering commentary on the quality of the free wings the previous week, along the lines of not looking a gift horse in the mouth. Someone coming to his defense commented about the undersized and overcooked “quail wings” they served last week. Scotty Greene’s name came up in reference to his late arrival to the match, causing him to miss his tee time, a no no and who was also noticed to leave early (another no no).  A couple of us (names intentionally omitted) commented about the sheer luck of not hitting any cars with our blocked and sliced drives off number 10 tee to start the round.

All in all, another great day for golf and the continuing saga of ATAG.

COMMISSIONER’S COMMENTS:

Thanks to Mr. Kisgen for his concise recap. It was a truly beautiful and warm afternoon that saw another full field of 20 ATAGers, and I was glad that the Commissioner’s Team dodged the curse by barely escaping the dungeon thanks to a woeful performance by another pairing. And, congrats to “Lucky Frank” Corrigan, who has a garage full of pink golf balls, for his best ever round of 43 for a net 5 under to win his first ever low net booty. Corrigan claims he had won it before, but a review of the stats from 2006 through 2015, could not substantiate such a claim.

That’s it for this week’s recap. Check out the photos in the Gallery and scroll down for the individual scores from today’s match.

4-19-2016   Final Results    Back Nine   Gross/Net

Majors                                                      42/38

Corrigan                                             43/31

Martin                                                      43/37

Gaddis                                                       44/38

Murphy                                                      45/38

Nichols                                                       46/35

Thornton                                                    46/40

Schmal                                                         46/41

Wymer                                                         48/36

Danzig                                                           48/36

Greene                                                         48/41

Kisgen                                                           49/37

Colbath                                                          49/39

Williamson                                                    49/41

Jobson                                                             50/39

Healy                                                                50/42

Sellner                                                              51/39

Cowles                                                               51/41

Houle                                                                 53/42

McGlynn                                                            56/46

 

 

 

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