November 1, 2011-By Don Nichols

It was a beautiful Fall afternoon that saw 20 ATAGers compete in the last match of the 2011 season and then later retreat to the Men’s Grill for the Closing Ceremonies. Despite three rain outs (two back to back) and four matches on temporary greens, ATAGers were able to compete in 27 fun matches for the season. The mood was genuinely upbeat as players gathered under sunny blue skies on the putting green to watch each foursome strike their opening tee shots of the last match of the year.


The best back nine score (and best overall) of 14 under  that had sat atop the leaderboard since May 10th was matched today by the team of Scotty Greene, Marty Arnold, Ben Cass, and Kevin McGlynn who “fluked” their way around the back nine track in a stellar display of good brother-in-law golf. At the other end of the spectrum, the Commissioner’s Team of Doug Healy, Jim Williamson, Jeff Colbath, and Don Nichols exemplified bad golf at its finest, struggling on every hole and barely managing to end up at even par to finish DAL for the last match of the year and set another record as the worst score ever posted by a Commissioner’s Team. (the Commish, after realizing such,  promptly suspended Healy, Williamson, and Colbath for the rest of the season.)

Final Results: 11-2-011 Back Nine

Cass, Arnold, Greene, McGlynn                                    -14

Jobson, Player, Quinn, Buist                                            -8

Corrigan, Martin, Morgan, Majors                                 – 8

Reese, Schmal, Pearson, Morris                                      – 3

Healy, Williamson, Colbath, Nichols                           even

The following players earned individual recognition:

BRAD REESE LOW GROSS AWARD:  Ben Cass   38  The seven handicapper wins his second Low Gross of the year but not without some difficulty. Cass was two under going into the last three holes, but a double bogey, bogey, bogey finish put him at two over which,nevertheless,was the best of the day as award namesake Reese was not up to his usual self.

LOW NET WINNER:  Kevin McGlynn   -5     The 18 handicapper had his best ATAG round of the year, opening with four straight pars and ending up with a score of 40 to take home the twenty dollar close out purse.

PINK LADY WINNER:  Frank Corrigan and Kieran Quinn:  52 The two 24 handicappers proved that neither was a sandbagger, recording a combined 12 doubles and 2 triples to end up in a tie for the highest score of the day. Corrigan pretty much had it all wrapped up until Quinn’s dramatic triple on the last hole brought the match to all square.

BIRDIE CLUB:  There were four back nine birdies added to the Birdie Club compliments of Ben Cass-with 2– and one each from Scotty Greene and Russ Jobson, with Jobson making the prestigious club for the first time this year. The 2011 Birdie Club ended up with a total of 119 birdies thanks to contributions from 28 players (all but seven players on the ATAG roster whose names will not be disclosed, but who know who they are).

COMMISSIONER’S CORNER (Observations Of The Commish)

-ATAG essentially took over the Men’s Grill, pulling just about every table together to form a banquet style seating area where they dined on upgraded appetizers provided by the Club and drank one or more cold ones while awaiting the results of the day’s match and the Closing Awards Ceremony. In the interim, Danny Morris entertained the group with a humorous story of what happened to a man who never married (hint: he lived happily ever after)

-Though not able to play in the final match, ATAGers Mike Gaddis, Tom Thornhill, David Danzig, Jeff Kohn, Rick Eaton, and Jim Boatright made cameo appearances and enjoyed the night’s festivities.

-After the match results were announced, core ATAGer Doug Healy took center stage to handle the presentation of the awards which were as follows:

           –   Best Team Score- Front Nine  -13   9-20-011: Danzig, Gooding, Martin, Thornton. The award: a sleeve of Bridgestone golf balls for each player

           –   Best Team Score-Back Nine    -14   11-2-011: Greene, Arnold, Cass, McGlynn (wins in a tie breaker coin flip against the 14 under score posted earlier in the year by Schmal, Morgan, Wade, and Nichols) The award: a sleeve of Pro V1 golf balls for each player

           –   Worst Team Score (DAL)   +1  5-10-011: Danzig, Eaton, Kohn, and Corrigan The award: a set of friction free golf tees (not sure of the connection there) (Eaton was later overheard saying, “but I shot a 38 that day”)

           –   Best Attendance Record:  Marty Arnold  25 out of the 27 matches played. The award: an engraved ball marker/divot tool (engraved with “loud mouth”)

           –   Most Net Beers Won:  Ron Majors and Marty Arnold, each ending up in the plus column with 5 beers each. The award: nothing other than an “attaboy”

           –   Most Net Beers Lost:  Henry Sawyer–  a net of 4 beers out of pocket. The award: a redeemable “Certificate Of Beer Equality”  (crafted by Doug Healy) which states: This Certificate entitles the bearer, a member of the Most Beers Bought Class, to demand payment in the form of a single beer of his choosing from one member of the Most Beers Won Class. This Certificate has been authorized and issued by the Board of Directors of ATAG in recognition of the fact that some golfers are members of a disadvantaged class of players who, through no fault of their own, play like shit and are therefore entitled to seek redress from the top 1% who have demonstrated game. Any whining from members of the top 1% about the unfairness of it all will not be tolerated. From those to whom much is given, much is expected.” (note: upon hearing Mr. Healy read this proclamation, Ron Majors, a member of the Most Net Beers Won, indicated his agreement with the entitlement to the disadvantaged by flashing Mr. Healy the universal ” you are number one” sign with his finger.)

             –   Best Low Gross:  Brad Reese (who else?)  fires a 33 on 5-17-011 for the best Low Gross of the year. Also wins Low Gross for the fourth year in a row which is why this is the only award that bears a player’s name who is still active and among the living. The award: a leather golf glove

             –   Best Low Net: Anthony Morgan   -7  on 5-17-011  (wins in a tie breaker against Mike Schmal who also posted a -7 score on 5-10-011; prior to the start of today’s match, the Commissioner informed each player that the tie breaker would be based on whoever posted the best low net that day. (Morgan had a net 1 under while Schmal succumbed to the pressure and ended up 5 over for the day) The award: a golf towel

–   Highest Gross Score:   Jon Chasteen   58  on 5-10-011  the award:  an exploding golf ball

–   Most Birdies: Brad Reese–in a landslide victory with a total of 16 birdies out of the 18 matches he played. (nearest competitor had 7)  the Award: a “birdie bag”

           –   Eagle Club: Jon Chasteen on 3-22-011 and Ben Cass on 4-5-011. After no eagles were made last year, these two players from the 2011 season joined the ranks of current Eagle Club members Brad Reese, Jeff Colbath, Bill Meagher, Ron Majors, Jim Bernhardt, Mike Gutt, Andy Tyber, PJ Wade, and Bill Bennett (with the latter having the only “double eagle”) the Award: a set of ball stencils to “mark the lines” (not sure of the connection here either)

–   Pink Lady Champion:  David Danzig   Wins the Pink Lady more times–7– than any other player.  The award:  pink scoring beads

–   Sandbagger Of The Year:   Don Nichols   Wins Low Net four times and also ends up the top money winner of the year. the Award: a sleeve of dollar logo golf balls

-After the awards ceremony, the Commish called Healy aside and complimented him on the way he handled the awards presentation, noting his popularity with the players and his strong organizational and communication skills in capturing the attention of the group, and suggested that Healy would be an excellent candidate to become the next ATAG Commissioner. Upon hearing this, Healy suddenly developed a nervous twit and, with noticeable beads of sweat abruptly pouring off his brow, stuttered and stammered something to the effect that he lacked the gravitas of being a commissioner and preferred to continue in the role more akin to being the Press Secretary of the Commish.

So that concludes the 2011 season which marked the 10th year of the chronicling of the play and behavior of a group of guys that gather every Tuesday afternoon during Daylight Savings Time to compete in a friendly match and then retire to the Men’s Grill to share stories and drink a few beers before heading home.

In closing,  a special thanks on behalf of ATAG goes to Assistant Golf Professional Eddie Godefroid who got the groups organized and off the tee in an orderly manner each week, to Debra Blakeley who, with her engaging personality, was always there with the beverage cart to provide cold drinks, to Connor, the new ATAG Barkeep who quickly learned everybody’s names, and to the reliable cart attendants Andrew and Ali who got everyone ready to prepare for battle each week.

It has been a pleasure serving as the ATAG Commissioner and, it appears, I will be back next year with the job that nobody wants.  See you then!

(Check out the photos by clicking on the Gallery tab above and scroll down to see the individual scores from today’s match)

Leaderboard: 11-2-011 Back Nine

Cass                                         38

McGlynn                                 40

Reese                                        41

Greene/Majors/Morgan         42

Pearson/Martin                       43

Morris/Nichols                        44

Jobson                                       46

Player/Schmal                         47

Buist                                          48

Arnold/Healy/Williamson     49

Colbath                                     51

Corrigan/Quinn                      52

About The Commish

Long time member of the Ansley Golf Club--a career 16 to 18 handicapper whose quest is to become better but never seems to be able to on a consistent basis.
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