ATAG RESUMES AFTER OPTIONAL ROUND


July 16, 2013-By Don Nichols

ATAG resumed its official season after electing to hold an optional match the prior week due to the recently punched and sanded greens. Eight players, excluding the Commissioner and other core ATAGers,  opted for the optional match which was played under steamy hot conditions on an extremely wet course. Though the match was optional, the Commissioner agreed to include the players scores in the individual stats.

Today, ATAG was back in full force as 16 players took on the friendly front nine on a hot and sunny afternoon. The course was dry, but the previously punched greens had not fully recovered, resulting in putts that took on a slow and bumpy ride before getting into the hole, resulting in many three putts.

Taking home the Golden Ale was the pairing of Mike Schmal, Doug Gooding, Russ Jobson, and David Danzig who, teeing off last,  finished three holes behind the group in front of them, receiving a letter in each of their files for slow play but nevertheless ending up with the best net score of 11 under. Called on to pony up was the woeful team of Lee Pearson, William Thornton, Jeff Kohn, and Jeff Colbath who combined to fashion a net 4 under.

Final Team Results: 7-16-2013

Schmal, Gooding, Jobson, Danzig                    -11

Sellner, Martin, Majors, Wymer                        -8

Williamson, Morris, Kisgen, Nichols                 -7

Pearson, Thornton, Kohn, Colbath                    -4

The following players earned individual recognition:

Low Gross:   Ron Majors     37   The 7 handicapper played steady throughout, offsetting two bogeys with a birdie on the last hole. This marks the fourth low gross in as many weeks as Majors continues to bask in the limelight with little competition now that Brad Reese has left the ATAG Tour.

Low Net:  Jeff Colbath   -3     in Chip Off against Ron Majors who also finished at net 3 under. After the Commissioner placed the ball in the rough in a position that called for a downhill chip shot, twenty handicapper Colbath went first and deftly lifted the ball over the rough and onto the green  and then watched it roll straight toward the hole, missing it by inches and stopping only a few feet away. Seven handicapper Majors followed by lofting his shot only a few feet into the air, only to watch it land in the rough, giving the supposedly lesser skilled Colbath 16 bucks in his pocket.

Pink Lady: David Danzig    +7 net   Danzig was nowhere to be seen after the match to recount his woeful round, but the scorecard indicated a bunch of triples and doubles that were plentiful enough to land him his 4th pinkster out of the six matches he has played this season.

Shot of the Day: Tom Kisgen   His 150 yd approach shot on # 8 landed within 7 feet of the hole which he then followed with a slightly breaking right to left putt that found the center of the hole for a birdie.

Birdie Club:  Three birds deposited. The train continues to roll, albeit slowly,  but thankfully was fueled this week with individual birdie contributions from Ron Majors, Mike Schmal, and Tom Kisgen, with Kisgen making the prestigious club for the first time this year.

That’s it for the recap of this week’s match. Scroll down for the individual scores and check out the photos in the Gallery.

7-16-2013      Front Nine       Final Leaderboard      Gross / Net

Majors                                       37 / 33

Schmal                                      42 / 36

Colbath                                     44 / 33

Pearson                                      44 / 39

Williamson                               45 / 37

Kisgen                                         45 /34

Martin                                         45 / 37

Jobson                                        46 / 36

Morris                                          46 / 38

Thornton                                      47 / 40

Wymer                                          48 / 37

Nichols                                          48 / 38

Sellner                                            51 / 39

Danzig                                             54 / 43

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ANOTHER FULL FIELD!


DOUG HEALY REPORTS FROM BALTIMORE!

July 2, 2013-By Don Nichols

It was another beautiful sunny afternoon for ATAG as a full field of 20 players signed up to take on the pesky back nine. Once again, Mother Nature showed her favoritism to the ATAG Tour, agreeing to delay the heavy rain onslaught that was to follow the next 3 days.

10 UNDER WINS IT!  Finishing atop the leader board with a score of 10 under was the team of Anthony Morgan, William Thornton, Henry Sawyer, and Bill Buist, beating the Commissioner’s Team by one stroke and depriving it of its first real opportunity to get in the winner’s column this season.

1 UNDER PAYS IT!  Finishing DAL with a net score of 1 under, was the woeful team of Doug Gooding, Frank Corrigan, Danny Morris, and Brooks Cowles who dropped to even par after double bogey on # 17 but managed to birdie # 18 to record,  least, a red number.

Final Team Results: 7-2-2013  Back Nine

Morgan, Thornton, Sawyer, Buist                                           -10

McGlynn, Colbath, Houle, Nichols                                          -9

Kisgen, Wymer, Jobson, Majors                                              -8

Sellner, McCormick, Kohn, Bates                                            -6

Gooding, Corrigan, Morris, Cowles                                         -1

The following players earned individual recognition:

Low Gross:    Ron Majors     37    The 7 handicapper follows his 36 on the front last week with a 37 on the back,  (hmm, seems more like a 1 than a 7) clearly surpassing all of the hackers in the field. The sole single digiter in the day’s field was one under through the first 6 holes before making double bogey on #16 but quickly settled back down with back to back pars.

Low Net:  Kevin McGlynn  -3    The 21 handicapper fired a 43 and took advantageous use of his 10 strokes to end up at 3 under, slipping by three other players who finished at 2 under. It was McGlynn’s first low net this year(following a pinkster a few weeks ago) and his first low net since November 1, 2011.

Pink Lady: Frank Corrigan and Brooks Cowles   +7 net   Bad golf from these two. Twenty five handicapper Corrigan opened and finished with back to back triples and added three doubles before finishing with the day’s high score of 55 .  Twenty handicapper Cowles managed two triples and four doubles in his route to a 53.  (The Commisioner awarded the pinkster to Cowles, knowing that Corrigan already had a garage full at home.)

Shot of the Day:   Don Nichols (self proclaimed in absence of any other nominations) for sinking a 40 foot uphill breaking putt for birdie (“net eagle”) on #12.

Birdie Club: The Birdie Train slowed down again but kept slugging along thanks to individual deposits from Ron Majors and Don Nichols, with the latter making the prestigious Birdie Club for the first time this season.

Commissioner’s Corner: (Observations of the Commish)

-It was a beautiful evening, so everyone gathered on the upper deck and, in ATAG tradition, consumed quite a few cold ones while smacking down fried chicken wings.  The barkeeps were very attentive in helping to quench the players thirst, continually going up and down the stairs after taking orders.

-Prior to the start of the match, the players were startled after hearing a thundering crash of metal as a car driven by a young teenager with even younger passengers in the back seat smashed at full speed into another automobile which had stopped at the crosswalk. Fortunately, no one was hurt, and the shaken and visibly upset teenage driver was eventually calmed down by Officer Beebe who took charge until the police arrived.

-Steve Bates made his first appearance on the ATAG Tour. The  8 handicapper was recruited by the Commissioner at the recommendation of Tom Houle to provide some low gross competition to Ron Majors and the other single digiters on the ATAG Tour. Bates, however, did not make a favorable first impression, shooting 9 over par and, more importantly, driving off (unknowingly he said later) with a cart that happened to have the Commish’s clubs on it right before the Commish was called to step to the tee. (Fortunately he returned just in time or his name would forever go down in ATAG lore as a “one and done.”)

-On a side note, ATAG CFO Doug Healy received a medical leave from absence from ATAG a few weeks ago to spend time recuperating at his Baltimore residence while at the same serving as the  ATAG Good Will Ambassador for “Baltimorons” (that’s what he calls them, himself included). On the day of the match, Balti-Moron Healy and core ATAGer Jim Williamson paired up for a virtual ATAG match. Below is the report submitted to the Commissioner by Mr. Healy:

DATELINE:  Baltimore, MD  7-2-2013-by Doug Healy

JIM WILLIAMSON FLYS TO BALTIMORE TO PLAY WITH DOUG HEALY IN THE FIRST EVER VIRTUAL ATAG SIMULCAST. SEE EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS IN THE GALLERY.

Traveling by the ATAG private jet to maximize his time on the ground, Jim Williamson spent the last 24 hours in Baltimore on a humanitarian mission to benefit Doug Healy.  The charity match, weeks in the making, was carefully timed to coincide with the traditional Tuesday ATAG format.  It was sponsored by good friend and co-competitor Tom Usilton who hosted the group at the tony Greenspring Valley Hunt Club.  Fortified by crab cakes and National Bohemian beer, and playing on only hours of rest from the night before, the players teed off at about 2:00 pm in the face of what appeared to be a certain downpour, however, the golf gods prevailed and the threatening rain never materialized.  Two items of note.  On the first hole, a par three, Usilton fired a line drive about 4 ft. off the ground narrowly missing a young child attempting to scamper across the fairway after breaking away from his babysitting group playing nearby.  Disaster averted, the shaken group played on through 6 holes until losing direction and playing 10, 11, and 12 before realizing that they had missed 7, 8 and 9.  In fairness, the only hole identification markers were about 2 inches in diameter and difficult to see.  The friendly golf pro appeared with map in hand to redirect the group while providing cold drinks for all.  No damage done, the group completed the missing holes and immediately submitted their 9 hole scores to the Commissioner creating the first ever ATAG Simulcast.  The remainder of the match was uneventful with Williamson booking an 88 and Healy a 92.  Immediately after the match, Williamson was rushed to to the private ATAG jet for the return trip to Atlanta.  Interviewed on his way to the jet, Williamson said “ As you know, Healy has been on medical leave in Baltimore since early June with a limited supply of golf partners.  I’m not a hero, I simply saw an opportunity to help my fellow ATAGer and did what any of us would; jump on a free jet (compliments of the Commissioner), grab some good food and beer and play golf.”

So, that’s it for this week’s recap. Scroll down for the individual scores and check out the photos in the Gallery, especially those of Jim’s Great Adventure in Baltimore. All ATAGers are wishing a speedy recovery for Healy and hope to see him on the ATAG Tour in the very near future.

7-2-2013 Leader Board  Back Nine    Gross/Net

Majors                                                 37/34

McGlynn                                             43/33

Thornton                                             43/36

Wymer                                                  45/34

Jobson                                                  45/35

Morris                                                   45/38

Sawyer                                                    46/36

Kohn                                                       46/39

Gooding                                                  46/38

Bates                                                        46/42

Sellner                                                     47/34

Morgan                                                    47/37

Nichols                                                     47/36

Buist                                                          48/37

Houle                                                         48/38

Colbath                                                      49/39

Kisgen                                                        50/39

McCormick                                               53/38

Cowles                                                       53/43

Corrigan                                                    55/43

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SUSPENSION LIFTED AS ATAG RETURNS TO NORM!


-16 SETS THE BAR IN A FULL FIELD OF 20 PLAYERS!

June 25, 2013-By Don Nichols

Well, finally some good golf, or at least so for two teams who finished at 16 under and 12 under, followed by a 9 under and a 7 under score. Ten players also finished with net under par scores. It was another beautiful, mild afternoon and evening with bulbous white clouds against azure blue skies, a perfect stage for what turned out to be some really good rounds.

Taking the gold and setting the high bar for the front nine at 16 under was the team of Danny Morris, Ron Majors, Henry Sawyer, and Jeff Kohn as they started in the red on the first hole and continued on with a concluding birdie at the end. Finishing at 12 under, and thinking that surely they had won, was the pairing of Craig Sellner, Tim Martin, Marty Arnold, and Kevin McGlynn. And, finishing DEAD ASS LAST, was this week’s ill fated Commissioner’s Team of Lee Pearson, Tom Player, Doug Gooding, and Don Nichols who continued a bad streak of golf by limping in with a score of 2 under. (4th loss of the year so far for the Commissioner’s Team indicating that things really had returned to norm)

The following players earned individual recognition:

Low Gross:    36    Ron Majors   The 8 handicapper opened with a birdie and later added another to offset two bogeys to post his best ATAG round of the year.

Low Net:  -6   Danny Morris      Morris, currently carrying a 16 handicap, cards a 38 to follow his 39 in last week’s match to win Low Net for the second week in a row–and his fourth low net of the year, making him the top money winner in the clubhouse. (Much grumbling by the players, with William Thornton demanding a full scale investigation into Mr. Morris’s handicap)

Pink Lady:   +5 net    Mike Schmal and Marty Arnold    To Arnold, this was old hat, but it was the first ever for the 12 handicapper Schmal who has won his fair share of Low Net in the past. A triple and two doubles did not make for a good day for him.

Birdie Club: 6 Birds.  The Birdie Train has begun to pick up speed, thanks this week to 2 of the tweeters coming from Ron Majors (new leader in the Clubhouse), and one each coming from Danny Morris, Jeff Kohn, Tim Martin, and Mike Gaddis.

The Commissioner was pleased to remove the probation as a result of the improved play over the last two weeks, especially the improvement over this week’s front nine match compared to the last front nine competition as shown below

This week’s Front Nine Match Average Gross / Net            44 /36

Last Front Nine Match Average Gross / Net                          47 / 38

That’s it for this week’s recap. Scroll down for the individual scores and check out the photos in the Gallery.

Final Results:  6-25-2013  Front Nine   Gross / Net

Majors                          36 / 32

Morris                           38 / 30

Meagher                        39 / 36

Gaddis                           43 / 36

Sawyer                           43 / 32

Martin                            43 / 35

Morgan                           43 / 32

Kohn                               44 / 37

Pearson                          44 / 39

McGlynn                        45 / 34

Nichols                           45 / 35

Buist                               45 / 35

Sellner                            46 / 33

Kisgen                             46 / 34

Schmal                            47 /41

Houle                              47 / 37

Gooding                         48 / 38

Player                              48 / 38

Arnold                             49 / 41

Williamson                     49 / 40

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ATAG WEATHER MIRACLE!


TORRENTIAL RAINS STOP AND CLOUDS CLEAR FOR ATAG!

June 18, 2013–as reported by Acting Commissioner Danny Morris (note: The Commissioner was once again absent as his other persona (as a player on the ATAG Tour) was called back to BGA after posting three consecutive rounds that averaged  12 over par, a substandard quality of play unbecoming to the 2012 fourth flight champion.

“This was an ATAG weather miracle. At 4:45 pm in my house which is only 2 minutes from the course, I was about to e-mail the players and cancel the night. Black, grey/green skies, lightning and thunder, and the radar looked ridiculous. But, I decided I better go over and at least wait around for awhile and maybe have a beer– only to find that teams # 1 and # 2 were dutifully assembled in the pro shop with everyone watching the radar.”

Soon, the clouds parted, the bad cells broke apart and went north and south of the Ansley links, and at 5:19 pm the first ball was struck and 15 players began to make their way around the back nine course. There were a  few squishy places but no real standing water and the course was in beautiful shape considering the massive rain events of the last few days. Then, sometime around six o’clock, the sun broke through and along with it a light breeze. It turned out to be one of the best weather nights of the season.

Winning Team:  -10    Danny Morris, Tom Kisgen, Jeff Colbath, and Marty Arnold

Sponsor:  -1  Kevin McGlynn, Jeff Kohn, William Thornton, John Wymer   Not only did this team lose, they also became a candidate for the “While We’re Young” award. Very slow play, a hole and a half behind at one point. Kisgen even suggested that a text should be sent to the Commissioner so that he could immediately insert a letter of reprimand in each of the players files. (duly noted–it will be done)

Low Net and Low Gross:  Danny Morris   39 / net -5   (”I had a very good ball striking night”)

Pink Lady: Jeff Kohn took home the pink stinker with a net score of 8 over

Birdie Club: The train got rolling again with birdies by PJ Wade and Jeff Colbath

Shot Of The Day: Jeff Colbath–  on the par 5 # 13 hole, he blasted his third shot left of the green which hit the cart path and ended up on the #14 tee box. His next shot of about 30 yards over the bunker landed gently on the green and rolled directly into the cup for birdie and  a “net eagle” .

This Week’s Back Nine Match: Average Gross Score:  47     Average Net Score: 38

Last Back Nine Match: Average Gross Score: 46   Average Net Score: 37

-Great work by the golf professionals Eddie and Phil. They were very diligent watching the radar and helping keep everyone informed. Everything went like clockwork–great work by the pros. We had no defections although two players cancelled earlier in the day.

I truly thought we were a cancellation but it turned out that we had an excellent night. All the guys congregated on the upper ATAG deck and stayed around for at least an hour quaffing beer and smacking down some chicken. No jokes, no photos, and one cameo by Russ Jobson.

Final Leaderboard: 6-18-2013   Back Nine   Gross / Net

Morris                   39  /  31

Kisgen                   45  /  35

Houle                    45  /  36

Colbath                 46  /  36

Williamson          45  /  38

McCormick          51  /  38

Wymer                  50  /  38

Sawyer                  49  /  39

Meagher               41  /  39

Wade                     45  /  39

Arnold                   48  /  39

Thornton               46  /  39

McGlynn                47  /  39

Sellner                    52  /  40

Kohn                      51  /  44

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STEAMY, HOT, AND LOUSY GOLF!


DOUBLES AND TRIPLES GALORE! PROBATION CONTINUES!

June 10, 2013-By Don Nichols

It was a hot, steamy, and high humidity afternoon, and a full field of 20 players (the first full field in 8 weeks) apparently  couldn’t handle it because it was another day of lousy golf. After last week’s improved back nine score, the Commissioner indicated that he would remove the probation based on an improvement from this week’s front nine score against the last front nine match.

However, this week’s front nine competition exactly matched the wretched results of the last front nine match—an average gross score of 47, an average net score of 2 over par, no birdies, and only four players out of the field of 20 getting under par. How bad was it?  When you count them up, there were 41 doubles and 18 triples recorded on the scorecards, suggesting that the word “Tour” should be removed from the ATAG logo and substituted with the word “Outing” to indicate that the matches are, in fact, not matches but merely weekly gatherings of a bunch of bad golfers who can not manage to shoot anywhere near their handicaps. Consequently, the accreditation of ATAG remains in danger and the probation continues until further notice.

In a tight race between woebegone pairings, the winner with a score of 5 under (the worst winning score for a front nine match) was the team of Mike Gaddis, Tom Kisgen, Tom Player, and Jeff Colbath. Ponying up was the “sucked more” team of Jim Williamson, Doug Gooding, Jeff Kohn , and second time visitor Ed McCormick who teed off last and rolled in last with a score of 3 under to the jubilant cries of two other teams who were at 4 under, causing a relieved William Thornton to cry out “keep hope alive!”, obviously parroting Jessie Jackson in his 1988 speech to the Democratic Convention.

The following players earned individual recognition:

Low Gross:   Lee Pearson   39  The ten handicapper matches his last front nine score

Low Net:  Tom Kisgen   -3   A first time win for the 24 handicapper who finally learned that the trick is to get your handicap much higher than your actual ability.

Pink Lady:  +7       Tom Player, Kevin McGlynn, and Ed McCormick   The trio combined their talents to post 9 doubles and 9 triples to end up at the bottom of the leader board.

Birdie Club: No birdies–the train is derailed once again. Records of the wrong kind are being set.

Shot of the Day:  How could there be?

Commissioner’s Corner (Observations of the Commissioner)

-Too hot and humid for the porch so the players gathered in the air conditioned smoke free grill. This setting, while comfortable, results in separate table discussions and does not offer the opportunity for shared stories and joke telling. Several players left shortly after the match results were announced.

-Henry Sawyer, looking professorial with a goatee, made a cameo appearance after returning from a sojourn in Paris.

-On the practice range, prior to the match, Tom Player nearly took out the Commissioner with an errant line drive curve ball around the protective fence in the chipping area just off the green. Player attempted to warn the Commish but instead of yelling “fore”, he could only manage to stutter a “Oh, DDDDDon!” as the missile made its way to the target. Fortunately, the Commish’s keen mind was able to decipher the garbled warning and ducked just in time as the projectile fell with a harmless yet menacing thud to the ground.

-On a side note, ATAGer Anthony Morgan and his partner (his Dad) won their flight in last weekend’s Member-Guest tournament, the second year in a row the duo has taken home the cash.

-The Commissioner, perplexed about his own poor play, announced that he would sit out next week’s  match and instead would return for another session at BGA. When some of the players objected, citing the Commish’s less than stellar attendance record so far this season, the Commissioner made it clear that the job was open for the taking, which quickly shut down any further conversation about the matter.

That’s it for this week’s match. Scroll down for the individual scores and check out the photos in the Gallery.

Final Results: 6-11-2013  Front Nine     Gross / Net

Pearson          39  /  34

Majors            42 /  38

Wade              42 /  35

Williamson   44 / 37

Kisgen            45 / 33

Colbath          45 / 35

Thornton       45 /38

Kohn               46 / 39

Gaddis             46/ 39

Morris             47 / 39

Nichols            47 / 38

Martin              48 / 39

Morgan             48 / 38

Arnold               48 / 38

Gooding           49 / 41

Sellner              50 / 37

Wymer              50 / 39

McGlynn          52 / 43

McCormick      56 / 43

 

 

 

 

 

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PROBATION FOLLOWS LIFT OF SUSPENSION!


PLAY IMPROVES! COMMISSIONER UNABLE TO ATTEND!

June 4, 2013-By Don Nichols as told by Acting Commissioner Danny Morris

After a one week suspension, the Commissioner agreed to allow ATAG to continue on a probationary basis pending improvement of their scores, but was himself forced out of this week’s action after he was denied release from Bad Golfers Anonymous. (while BGA requires voluntary admission, you can not be released until the swing doctors are convinced you are ready–no matter who you are).  Accordingly, here is a recap as told by Acting Commissioner Danny Morris:

- A field of 15 players. Back Nine match. Weather quite pleasant-very low humidity.

-Marty Arnold was a no notice, no-show. Apparently he failed to notify the Acting Commissioner of his cancellation and instead sent such notice to the Commissioner after explicit instructions were given beforehand that the Commissioner would be unable to receive e-mails or phone calls while undergoing intense therapy sessions at BGA.

-Winning Team: -12   Mike Schmal, Jim Williamson, Tom Kisgen, Anthony Morgan

-Sponsor: even par    Russ Jobson, Jeff Colbath, Jeff Kohn, Mike Gaddis (draw partner)

-Low Gross: Tim Martin     39

-Low Net: Tim Martin        -5  

-Pink Lady:  Jeff Colbath   +6  (slips by Doug Gooding in a close one)

-Shot of the Day:  Mike Schmal-hits 160 yd approach shot on # 15 from under the trees to middle of green for a two putt par.  Tim Martin-tee shot on # 18 left ball mark 12 inches from hole for a two putt par

Birdie Club: Anthony Morgan and Mike Schmal break the drought with one each

Other comments from the Acting Commissioner:

-Ditch between #1 and # 2 fairway is being repaired and beautified. Very nice. I hit my drive in the back of a truck load of dirt. Tough lie.

-Ansley member Ed McCormick, in his first ATAG match, hit his tee shot on # 18 under the bridge into the front bunker. Then, from a down hill, side hill lie, he played a miraculous 80 ft shot to about 5 feet of  back pin for a two putt bogey-net par.

-The group is hoping that the -12 score on the back nine will be good enough to under gird the process for removing the probation placed on ATAG. Everyone expressed their personal regret at the most recent week’s bad play. All pledge to work hard to  improve their respective scores.

Recap: This week’s back nine match:

Winning score: -12; Average Gross Score: 46; Average Net Score: 37

Recap: Last back nine match:

Winning score:  -5; Average Gross Score: 49; Average Net Score: 40

Note from the Commissioner:  I am pleased at the marked improvement in the last two back nine matches, and laud the sincere pledge of the players to improve their game, but must await the results of the next front nine match before agreeing to lift the probation. Also, Marty Arnold will receive a Letter of Reprimand for failing to follow instructions for cancelling which denied a fellow ATAGer from coming off the standby list. And, after winning Low Net three times out of the nine matches he has played, Tim Martin is under investigation.

That’s it for this week’s recap. Scroll down for the scores from today’s match and check out the photos in the Gallery

Martin                            39 / 31

Kisgen                             45 / 33

Sellner                             46 / 33

Sawyer                             44 / 34

Morgan                            45 / 35

Williamson                     43 / 36

Gaddis                             43 / 36

Schmal                            43 / 37

Morris                             45 / 37

Kohn                                46 /39

McCormick                     52 / 39

Jobson                             48 / 40

McGlynn                         48 / 40

Gooding                           49 / 41

Colbath                             51 / 42

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COMMISSIONER SUSPENDS ATAG!


CONTINUED POOR PLAY THREATENS SHUT DOWN!

May 21, 2013-By Don Nichols

After a lightning display that ended just before tee time, 16 players gathered on the first tee on another beautiful Tuesday afternoon eager to take on the more friendly front nine after being thrashed by the back nine last week.

Although the scores did improve somewhat from last week’s debacle,  the Birdie Club was shut out once again as a result of  another week of what can best be described as shitty golf. This week’s field posted an average gross score of 10 over par while the average net score was 2 over par, prompting the Commissioner,  sensing a swing virus had infected the ATAG Tour,   to take drastic action and announce that there would be no match next Tuesday in hopes that the time off would give the players the opportunity to seek appropriate treatment for their obviously flawed swings which are putting the ATAG Tour in danger of losing its accreditation which would force a complete shut down of ATAG. (who wants to write or read about shitty golf?)

One team did pretty good, though, as the pairing of Marty Arnold, Anthony Morgan, Lee Pearson, and Craig Sellner clearly outplayed the field, finishing at 10 under, while the day’s sponsor was this week’s Commissioner’s Team of Scotty Greene, Doug Healy, Tim Martin, and Don Nichols which finished DAL at even par after dropping five shots over the last three holes to post the worst score on the front nine this season. The other two teams did almost as poorly, especially considering that the front nine is usually more susceptible to good scores.

Final Results:  5-21–2013 Front Nine

Arnold, Morgan, Pearson, Sellner                                              -10

Thornton, Danzig, Majors, Gaddis                                             – 3

Morris, Williamson, Colbath, Buist                                             -2

Greene, Martin, Healy, Nichols                                                  even

The following players earned individual recognition:

Low Gross:    Lee Pearson: 39    The eight handicapper, currently playing with a 10,  was only one over going into # 8 before stumbling to double bogey, finishing at 3 over for the best score of the day.

Low Net:  Craig Sellner: -4  The twenty six handicapper, who owns more Pink Ladies than almost anyone else on the ATAG Tour, posted a 45 and used his “double pop” holes to perfection with three “net birdies” to finish with the best low net of 4 under to slip by 3 under Anthony Morgan and put 16 dollars in his pocket.

Pink Lady:   Doug Healy: +9   The sixteen handicapper never made a par but did manage to make three triple bogeys and two double bogeys in grabbing his third Pinkster this year by posting his highest ATAG round of the season and making him one of the co leaders in the clubhouse. (As intended, the new “High Net” Pink Lady is starting to level the playing field and more aptly describes who was really sucking more)

Birdie Club:    Nada–Nichts–Nani Mosecond week in a row ( after five years of an unblemished record)

Average Gross Score:  46.2-front nine  (last week: 48.7-back nine)       Average Net Score:  37.7 front nine (last week: 39.9 back nine)

Commissioner’s Corner (Observations of the Commish)

-Another beautiful setting on the upper deck as tables were pulled together to accommodate the  players. Danny Morris told a joke but did not wait until the last two groups had  finished and so they missed out. (Searching the ATAG By Laws to see if telling a joke too early is a violation ,or if it is something that needs to be covered in the winter meetings)

-Brooks Cowles and Henry Sawyer made cameo appearances and joined in with the drinking and the chicken wing eating.

-David Danzig left immediately after the match, uncharacteristically failing to appear on the porch. His playing partners indicated that he appeared to be under some stress as he received one or more business calls during the match. Nevertheless, he received a Letter of Reprimand in his file.

-And, speaking of letters, Kevin McGlynn received another Letter of Commendation for giving up his spot for Jeff Colbath who had been inadvertently left off the four team pairings. Not sure if this was truly altruistic or merely a timely opportunity to get out of his prior commitment, as he was later seen posing in a photo with Fuzzy Zoeller. You can check out the photo in the Gallery and decide for yourself which one is the statue.

-The Commissioner seemed to be grumbling the whole night (especially since his team finished DAL) and, after reviewing the scores of the players,  grumbled some more and was heard muttering “shitty golf” more than once which obviously had a bearing on his decision to suspend future play on the ATAG Tour.

-The beautiful evening came to an abrupt end at 8:44 pm when flashes of lightning approximately 200 yards away signaled that it was time to head home.

That’s it for this week’s match and, as noted above, there will be no match next Tuesday due to the suspension by the Commissioner who has not as yet indicated when the suspension will be lifted. You can scroll down for the individual scores from today’s match and check out the photos in the Gallery and the Golf Truisms and ATAG quotes in the sidebar.

Leaderboard: 5-21-2013  Front Nine   Gross  /  Net

Pearson                                    39  /  34

Gaddis                                     41  /   34

Thornton                                 42  /  35

Majors                                      42 /  38

Williamson                             43  /  36

Morgan                                    43  /  33

Sellner                                     45  /  32

Martin                                      45  /  36

Greene                                     46  /  38

Morris                                      48  /  39

Arnold                                      49  /  39

Colbath                                    49  /  40

Nichols                                     49  / 41

Buist                                          51  / 40

Healy                                        53 / 45

Danzig                                      54 / 43

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GORGEOUS DAY! GREAT COURSE CONDITIONS! LOUSY GOLF!


May 14, 2013-By Don Nichols

It was undoubtedly the prettiest day of the year–temperature in the high 70′s,  a gentle breeze, sunny, and blue skies  interspersed with wisps of small cumulus clouds.  Then add a  beautiful golf course with manicured fairways and smooth rolling greens and you have the perfect atmosphere and setting for a great round of golf, you would think.

But, inexplicably, all but two of the 16 players in the field were above net par for their rounds as the average gross score of the field was 49 (13 over par–yikes!) with an average net score of 4 over par. The Back Nine seemed to have its way with the majority of the players as evidenced by the fact that eight out of the sixteen had scores of 50 and higher.

Taking home the gold was the team of Doug Healy, Marty Arnold, Jim Williamson, and Mike Schmal who combined for the best score of the day (and worse to ever win the back) at 5 under while the other three teams finished 3 under, 2 under, and 1 over. The 1 over by the team of Kevin McGlynn, David Danzig, John Wymer, and Jeff Colbath was good enough to earn the right to be the sponsor of the match and present the Golden Ale Trophy to the victors.

Final Results: 5-14-2013-Back Nine

Healy, Arnold, Williamson, Schmal                                     -5

Martin, Sellner, Jobson, Thornton                                       -3

Houle, Gaddis, Kisgen, Nichols                                             -2

Danzig, McGlynn, Wymer, Colbath                                      +1

The following players earned individual recognition:

Low Gross:    42    Doug Healy, Tim Martin, Mike Schmal

Low Net:  2 under   Tim Martin--in chip off against Doug Healy who also finished 2 under. A chip off for the second week in a row but this time the Commissioner placed the ball in a more difficult position requiring a lofted shot over the bank with a sharp break to the hole. Healy lost the tee flip (or won depending on how you look at it) and seemed to be intently focused as he addressed the ball but then did his own version of Sergio by sending a clanking low skimmer over the green and essentially eliminating himself from the competition. Martin, with no focus at all, merely putted his ball through the fringe and over the hill with just the right amount of pace so that it made it onto the green some 20 feet away for an easy 16 bucks.

Pink Lady: Jim Williamson and Russ Jobson who each finished at a net 9 over par, making them co-leaders in the clubhouse with Kevin McGlynn. The duo had a combined eight doubles and four triples to earn this week’s “sucked more” moniker.  (Actually Jeff Colbath also finished at a net 9  over  but the Commissioner gave him a one time exemption from the pink ridicule since it was his first round of golf after coming off a 12 week medical leave.)

Birdie Club:  It was a triumphant victory for the Back Nine and a sad day for the Birdie Club. For the first time (since the recording of stats in 2008) , the Birdie Club was shut out as none of the 16 players could manage to best old man par.

Commissioner’s Corner (Observations of the Commish)

-A beautiful and pleasant night on the porch as players consumed an inordinate amount of beer and chicken wings while enjoying the sunset and watching what turned out to be a less than exciting, but amusing, chip off. Many stayed until after 9:30 pm.

-The Commissioner chastised everyone, including himself, for playing lousy golf, noting that this season’s ATAG Tour players have not as yet played to their handicap potential, and that the ATAG Tour could be in danger of losing its accreditation if scores did not improve.

-17 players answered the Call For Players, an uneven number that would necessitate a fivesome which is typically not allowed by the Club. So, prior to the pairings, the Commissioner asked if any of the players would agree to drop out so that there would be four teams. (of course, not expecting that any would give up their spot since the weather forecast was excellent).  Surprisingly, three ATAGers–John Wymer, Jeff Kohn, and Kevin McGlynn– showed their altruistic side, offering to drop out. The Commissioner accepted Jeff Kohn’s offer after the “Kohnman” noted that he was the likely sacrifice since he would have to leave shortly after the match. For their unselfish actions, the Commissioner has placed a Letter of Commendation in each of their files.

That’s it for this week’s match. Scroll down for the lousy scores and check out the photos in the Gallery.

5-14-2013   Leaderboard   Back Nine   Gross / Net

Martin                                  42     34

Healy                                    42     34

Schmal                                 42     36

Wymer                                 47     37

Houle                                   47     38

Nichols                                47     39

Gaddis                                 47     40

McGlynn                              48    40

Arnold                                  50     40

Thornton                              50     43

Danzig                                   51      40

Williamson                           52      45

Sellner                                    52      39

Jobson                                    54      45

Colbath                                  54        45

Kisgen                                     55       43

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Grand Opening For ATAG Sky Box!


May 7, 2013-By Don Nichols

After three days of rain, this Tuesday turned out to be a beautiful afternoon–dry, warm, and sunny, enabling the players to climb to the upper deck to resume the famed ATAG camaraderie.

Sixteen players answered the call but two cancelled late in the day–fortunately one was replaced with someone off the standby list (Tom Houle) and the other made a cameo on the porch to beg forgiveness (Kevin McGlynn) and even chipped in his one dollar to the pot, but the match came down to 15 players with one team having to pick a draw partner.

Final Results: 5-7-2013  Front Nine:  15 Players

Tom Kisgen, Marty Arnold, Danny Morris, Tim Martin                  -11

Mike Schmal, William Thornton, Ron Majors, Don Nichols           -10

Doug Healy, Russ Jobson, Tom Houle, Anthony Morgan                 -6

Mike Gaddis, Bill Buist, David Danzig, Anthony Morgan (draw)     -6  lost in tiebreaker

The following players earned individual recognition

Low Gross:     Mike Schmal   The twelve handicapper fires a 39 and posts his best ATAG score of the year, finishing with a birdie to stand alone at the top of the Leaderboard.

Low Net (Chip Off):  Mike Schmal  -3  wins in a chip off against Danny Morris who also finished at 3 under. In the first chip off of the year, Morris lost the tee flip and had to go first. The Commissioner dropped a ball just off the green setting up a relatively straight forward, but downhill, chip shot. Morris, who earlier in his round had that same chip shot (which he botched), delicately lofted the ball just onto the green whereupon it rolled slowly toward the hole, coming to rest less than a foot from the cup as the onlookers from above cheered what surely would be the winner. Seeing the slippery slope of the downhill chip, Schmal decided to use a putter and deftly rolled the ball through the fringe and onto the green where it, too, began to roll slowly down the hill toward the hole before nearly falling into the cup, stopping just inches short but good enough to take home the low net purse.

Pink Lady:  David Danzig  Net 5 over.  Danzig makes it three in a row for the Pinkster, finishing double, triple, double, triple, triple to best  three other contenders who were close behind at 4 over.

Birdie ClubThree birdies added to the Birdie Club stats. Tom Houle and Mike Gaddis each birdied # 2 and Mike Schmal finished his round with a birdie on # 9.

Shots of the DayAnthony Morgan–from # 4 fairway, a line drive laser through the trees on #5 that carried the bunker and stopped on the green, enabling him to make par-”net birdie”, and Don Nichols who sank a 20 foot putt on # 8 to likewise make par-”net birdie”.

COMMISSIONER’S CORNER (Observations of the Commish)

-It was great to finally get to assemble on the upper deck and enjoy the outdoor ambiance, and it made a great venue for watching other players finish including the dramatic chip off between Morris and Schmal just before the sunset.

-Doug Healy and Danny Morris entertained with some new jokes while the beer and the chicken wings kept coming.

-Brooks Cowles, the other game day cancellation, also made a cameo appearance on the porch. Both he and Kevin McGlynn claimed to have legitimate business reasons for their last minute cancellations but nevertheless received Letters Of Reprimand in their files.

-Tom Houle once again came off the bench with a last minute notice to replace one of the cancellations. For his demonstrated desire to be a part of ATAG, the Commissioner has placed him on the  Call For Players list, the core membership roster of ATAG.

That’s it for this week’s front nine match. Scroll down for the individual scores and check out the photos in the Gallery.

Leaderboard: 5-7-2013 Front Nine  Gross/Net

Mike Schmal                  39       33

Danny Morris                42       33

Don Nichols                   42       34

Mike Gaddis                  43        36

Ron Majors                     43       38

Tim Martin                     43       35

William Thornton         44       37

Marty Arnold                 44        34

Doug Healy                    44         36

Tom Houle                     45          35

Anthony Morgan           47         38

Russ Jobson                   50        40

Bill Buist                          51         40

Tom Kisgen                     52         40

David Danzig                   52         41

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ATAG Match Recaps


April 30, 2013

Commissioner Returns To Action

By: Don Nichols

After missing the last two matches, the Commissioner returned to action with a field of 18 players taking on the pesky back nine on a beautiful, sunny, 80 degree afternoon. Due to the odd number, two teams played as threesomes and had to rely on a Draw Partner at the end of the match. Despite the good weather and the excellent condition of the course, there was bad play all around with 1/3 of the field posting scores of 5o or more with the highest gross and net score of the season.

Taking home the gold by a one shot margin was the team of Doug Healy, Tom Kisgen, Kevin McGlynn, and Ron Majors who picked up that one shot on the last hole for a net birdie and a score of 8 under to ease by the team of Tom Houle, John Wymer, Tom Player, and William Thornton who made net par on # 18.

Stepping up to be the sponsor was the woebegone threesome of Mike Gaddis, PJ Wade, and Anthony Morgan whose random and ill fated draw partner Jeff Kohn helped their final score to go from 4 over to 1 over. (this just put the finishing touch on Kohn’s overall bad day) The other threesome drew Don Nichols as their Draw Partner and went from 2 under to 5 under.

The following players earned individual recognition:

Low Gross:  Bill Meagher 41   (not so low for a 5 handicapper but still the best score of the day–a triple bogey on #17 was his undoing)

Low Net: John Wymer  -2   The 21 handicapper, who shot 51 on the front last week, redeemed himself on the back nine by firing a 44 for a net 34 to finish one shot better than Doug Gooding.

Pink Lady:  Kevin McGlynn  + 9    This was a tight race between the not- so- goods but 17 handicapper McGlynn pulled it out by finishing triple, double, double for a score of 53 to slip by hard charging thirteen handicapper PJ Wade who finished with triple, triple, double to end up with a gross score of 50 for a net of 8 over.

Birdie Club:  Bill Meagher led this week’s contributors with birdies on #11 and #17, and Ron Majors, Danny Morris, and Tom Player each added one to the hopper for a total Birdie Club deposit of 5 birds.

Final Results: 4-30-13 Back Nine: Gross / Net

Wymer                                          44    34

Gooding                                        43    35

Player                                            44    35

Healy                                             44    36

Kisgen                                           48    36

Morris                                           44    36

Majors                                           42    37

Cowles                                           49    38

Meagher                                        41     39

Morgan                                          48    39

Houle                                              50    40

Nichols                                           47    41

Gaddis                                            48    41

Thornton                                        48    41

Arnold                                             50    41

Kohn                                                50    43

Wade                                               50    44

McGlynn                                         53    45

COMMISSIONER’S CORNER (Observations of the Commish)

-It was a gorgeous day and an ideal time to gather on the ATAG upper deck to enjoy the splendor of the evening. However, for some reason, the upper deck had only one table and two chairs and the middle “smoker’s porch” was mostly occupied by non-ATAGers, causing the Commissioner to reluctantly decide to assemble the group in the mostly empty Men’s Grill. The Commissioner said he would make sure that the upper deck (if available) would have a suitable number of chairs and tables in future matches.)

-Once again, an uncompleted scorecard (net scores were not recorded) almost caused John Wymer to lose his rightfully earned low net bounty. Score keeper Tom Player admitted the wrongdoing but attributed his negligence to the fact that he was an artist and not a golfer.

-In fact, Mr. Player–the artist-- took that opportunity to announce to the group that he had been commissioned to do a bronze sculpture of “Saint George Slaying the Dragon”. For those not in the know, a quick check of Wikipedia revealed that legend has it that Saint George, a knight from Cappaocia (Turkey), saved the life of a king’s daughter who, among many other beautiful maiden predecessors, had been chosen as that week’s sacrifice to the local dragon. After doing so, he resumed spreading the Gospel and reportedly converted thousands to Christianity before being beheaded and rising to sainthood. A quick check with E-bay and Amazon.com shows numerous bronze sculptures of “Saint George Slaying the Dragon”that can be bought for somewhere between 50-100 bucks so not sure why one has to be commissioned again. One click on Amazon.com with with free delivery would seem the way to go. (I’m just saying)

-Brooks Cowles, William Thornton, and Tom Houle elected to stay on the smoker’s porch and enjoy the outdoor ambiance with the non-ATAG members and did not join the group until after the results were tabulated and announced. Each received a Letter Of Reprimand in his file.

-No jokes or stories were told and no photos were taken as the Grill is not as conducive to the real ATAG experience.

That’s it for this week. Scroll down to see recaps of the prior two matches as reported by Danny Morris.

April 23, 2013-Commissioner absent; Danny Morris reports

-15 players; front nine match

-Winners: Lee Pearson, Doug Gooding, Craig Sellner, William Thornton     -9

-Sponsor: John Wymer, Russ Jobson, Bill Meagher, Danny Morris  -7  

-Low Gross: Danny Morris     39

-Low Net: Danny Morris   -6

-Pink Lady: William Thornton   +7 net

-Birdies: Bill Meagher and Doug Gooding

-Shot of the Day: Brooks Cowles–actually two shots that enabled him to make back to back net birdies on #3 and #4

-Group gathered on the “smoking” porch–many stayed until 9 pm or so

-Scores:                Gross       Net

Morris                   39             30

Schmal                  40             34

Sellner                   47             35

Cowles                   46             35

Williamson           44             37

McGlynn               46             37

Kohn                      45             38

Pearson                  43             38

Gooding                 47            38

Meagher                42             39

Kisgen                    51             39

Gaddis                    46            39

Wymer                    51            40

Jobson                    51             41

Thornton                50            41

April 16, 2013--Commissioner out of town; Danny Morris reports

-Full field of 20 players;  greens were sanded.

-80 degrees and sunny with no wind–should have been nice scoring conditions even though we were on the pesky back nine, but scores were crazy high

Winning Team: Marty Arnold, Mike Gaddis, Doug Gooding, Tom Kisgen  -6

Sponsor: Jeff Kohn, Tom Houle, Tom Player, and Ron Majors   -2

Low Gross: Jeff Kohn  41

Low Net:  Jeff Kohn   -2

Pink Lady: Doug Healy  net 7 over

Birdie Club: Jeff Kohn and Henry Sawyer with one each

Shot Of The Day: Marty Arnold   2o yd chip in to save par on # 13

Cameos: Jeff Colbath and Kieran Quinn

Comments: ATAG Deck unavailable so 15 guys on the smoking deck and others in the Grill moving freely between the two spaces while watching a thrilling finish to a Braves game. Lots of folks stayed and drank beer. There was a bunch of beer consumed.

April 9, 2013–Match cancelled so players could attend memorial service for long time Ansley member Ron Sharp

April 2, 2013-Full field of 20 players; Front Nine match

Winning Team: John Wymer, Tim Martin, Mike Gaddis, Ron Majors    -13

Sponsor: Commissioner’s Team of William Thornton, Bill Meagher, Anthony Morgan and Don Nichols    -5

Low Gross: Tim Martin / Bill Meagher    41

Low Net: Tim Martin   -3

Pink Lady:  David Danzig   net + 7

Birdie Club: Ron Majors, Tim Martin, PJ Wade, and Frank Corrigan

Shot Of The Day:  Corrigan   15 ft birdie putt on # 7

Comments: too chilly for the porch so players gathered in separate tables in the Grill.  Brooks Cowles welcomed back to the ATAG Tour.

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